Back in 1988, I had been living in a “Southern State”, (”NOT FLORIDA”), for approximately eight years – nearly the entire decade of the 1980s.

It wasn’t a whoopteedoo fantasy land full of half naked beautiful women romping around topless in only loincloths through lush green forests filled with fruit trees and rivers of cool, sweet wine, but it was home. As a matter of fact I could probably say that I had my best times of my life living there.

All the while certain members of my immediate family, who somehow had forgotten how much Ohio actually reaked – began to voice their long lost love for this graveyard more vocally and frequently than they had in quite a while.

Finally – one day they made the decision to return. Most of the family went back first to get things straightened out and set up, and me and my brother stayed behind in a temporary studio apartment that wasn’t half bad at all.

Being of legal age – I wanted to stay. My work place was just down the street – and I figured that I could just ride my ten speed back and forth to work, which I did with no problems.
My brother – who was slightly more insistant, and considerably physically larger and stronger disagreed on my intent to stay – and thus, when the time came – we loaded the car with our few taudry belongings, and we bugged out.

I remember the night we finally pulled up to the new house – in the old place of woe. The first thing that I noticed that should’ve been an obvious omen of what was yet to come – was the fact that the night was pitch black. It was darker than any night that I could remember in recent memory then. I never thought that night time – even in the middle of a town full of street lights – could ever be that dark.

At that time I owned a 1979 Mercury Zephyr that me and my brother had rode back in. It wasn’t a year of being back that the old fucker that lived next door to us got a nasty hair in his red neck, grumpy old ass – and took the liberty of having it towed away because I hadn’t moved my car “at least two inches in a twenty four hour period”.

This is an ordinance in FRANKLIN FUCKHOLE OHIO!!!
Remember that town, FRANKLIN OHIO. John Cougar Mellencamp would’ve considered this place WAY too putrid to write a funeral dirge about – let along a snappy little jingle celebrating life in the bowels of Americana. “Little Pink Houses my ass”.

I still remember that night to this day so very clearly. God how I hate that night… The night I “Came Home”.

I remember the house to. Everything in it was gas, and the electrical insolation on the wiring was tearing off. It had not been updated probably since 1948. My what a comfort.

The house smelled like a gas leak constantly. I remember that the whole town looked like some weird combination of a slum from a Charles Dickins tale – and a dark, twisted, Halloweenish contrivance from the mind of Tim Burton. A theme of white trash soot and grime covered the place it seemed. The skies were overcast, almost ALWAYS overcast. It’s a common condition for this valueless vortex of nullness.

This place IS so very much reminiscent of an eastern European or Southern Russian state. It looks like it could just as eaily be Gadansk, or the seedier side of Minsk, or Russian Georgia, or a less prosperous suburb of Moscow. I recently saw an episode of “Destination Truth” where they were ghost hunting in Chernobyl, and the general scenery looked no different really than Butler, or Warren Counties here in the land of sloffed off dreams and crushed aspirations.

God how I hate Ohio…

Micheal, as for you – well – Mike I’m not angry with you for insisting that I need to be on meds – no – I can’t be angry with you Mike, because I’m too busy shaking my head sadly, desperately wanting to save you, as I watch you dance with smiles and rosey cheeks, obliviously, into the very Labrynth of Leviathan.

The road to destruction is a wide one, and it’s paved with good intentions – at least that’s how it looked to me travelling back North on I75 coming from Orlando, as I returned with my immediate family from a vacation there a few years back. I’m sure your intentions in coming to this cess laden dead zone were to say the least, golden.

We stayed in a lovely bungalow with an arched cathedral ceiling and a qaint little inground pool in the back, in Florida. It was marvellous – a genuine breather from the agonies of pergatory, with the exception of having to be dragged every darn day through amusement parks as big as Rhode Island. Saint Augustine was beautiful in stark contrast to Dayton, or Cincinnati, or the rancid septic tank in between them – Middletown.

Each time that I went there and for a brief time escaped this qwagmire – I could feel a sensation like being purged and freed of unclean demonic parasites like fat bloated toads that were attatched to my soul, and that drained my very being of the joy of life in even it’s most simplest expressions.

We had gone to Florida on vacation every summer for five years straight. Each time for a three week stint. The first year that we went there was the first time that I had been swimming in YEARS! It was blissful.

Mike – you’ll miss Florida, trust me. I will NEVER miss Ohio if I leave here. I will curse it’s name and spit on it’s vile Luciferian memory – and I may decide to not even allow my dead, dry bones to be suffered the final indignity of being buried here.

You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone Mike. Here in Ohio – I know for a fact what I have – MISERY. You had Florida Mike – sure – Florida certainly IS NOT a utopian paradise. But in time your going to find that it IS a preferable alternative, even in the short term.

Oh yes Mike – there are WORSE places than Ohio.
There are quite a few as a matter of fact – but I believe still a rare number in comparison to all of the other locales where one might choose to live.

No – I’m not in Ethiopia, or Cambodia, or Somalia, or Sudan. No – I’m not eating U.N. aportioned protien gruel from a dirty tupperware container while bot flies blow my open sores caused from malnutrition and a lack of access to medicine and hygenic facilities – your absolutely right Mike – but I’m sure that even Hell has it’s better neighborhoods to, and that liars occupy a slightly more tolerable region there than murderers. In that regard – I have no regrets about complaining about Ohio – despite the existance of “places far worse”.

Another reason why Ohio may not have been a great place for me was that Toledo didn’t have much to cater to my interests. See, I’m in my late 20’s and have a career in engineering. I really didn’t meet many women there, because most of the women are married and have families. Not that it’s a negative, but that means no prospects for a single man. If I did meet a woman that I liked, she already had a child or more. Again, not that its a bad thing, but I don’t date women with children. That’s more of a “me” thing, but that’s a reason why I sought somewhere else to live. Toledo is nice for you if you have a wife and kids. If you are young and single, then you should really seek elsewhere to live. When I moved here, I just decided to do everything that I wanted to. Although, while living in Toledo I did all the things I love to do as well. The difference is that I’m not an outcast in Denver. It’s rather easy to talk to people here, as half the population are transplants. So, it’s easier to meet people who share a common situation with you. I never snowboarded in my life until I moved here, yet in my snowboarding classes…I enjoy the experience, and I’ve made good friends in it. I never danced Salsa before coming here, yet when I started taking lessons, I’ve made really good platonic female friends who all try to set me up with their hot friends and sisters. Dating is great now. Again, not to bash Toledo, entirely. It’s just that a lot of things weren’t available there for a single man like myself.

Toledo did have positives. I loved the Toledo Art Museum, and I miss going there. I used to go to Mudhens games so much, that I should’ve just bought season tickets. Plus, I got on my feet there. I made the ultimate decision to leave, because Toledo didn’t really have the resources or opportunities that Denver or other cities I was researching at the time offer. I own my own resume writing and web site design companies now. I didn’t have the network to do such things in Toledo, so moving was in my best interest. Toledo also had a few unique physical features about it that I found kind of interesting.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that Ohio, like anywhere, is what you make it and what you are looking to do with your life. I believe that you are at the mercy of circumstance more so in Ohio than a lot of other places. That’s mostly due to the economy and overall resources provided. The racism there bothered me, as I am a black man. I’ve found that racism is everywhere in America, some places worse than others. I will say that Ohio is in the “worse” category for racism. I felt and experienced more racial tension in Toledo than I did in Boston or Texas. Ohio is surprisingly similar to the deep south with racism. Yet and still, it has positives and negatives like most places. I think that the difference with Ohio has more to do with it’s economic history. Ohio has been the way it is for a long time. The environment is stagnant and hopeless. With that comes a hopeless mentality, so progress is an alien afterthought. I’ll admit that it bothered me that the people didn’t really get excited about anything besides Ohio State football and drinking. I guess it depends on what you want in life. I’ve always said that if I did have kids and a wife, I might have view Ohio differently. With all this said, I’ll never go back.

You can’t sit there and tell me that Cleveland, Toledo, and Cincinnati don’t have urban decay. Toledo has the biggest waste of city potential of any major city in the state. The people there let it get worse every year. They get an overflow of people from Detroit who are stuck in the 1980’s. If you are comparing education of people in Ohio to people in Florida, they isn’t much difference. Columbus is the only exception and we know why. But education in Florida is more affordable, especially with the shit ton less amount of taxes down there. But just because graduation rates are higher up here, doesn’t mean there is a higher percentage of people with college degrees here. They are really about the same. And yes I do know that the salaries of most jobs in Tampa or Orlando, FL are pretty similar to jobs up in Ohio. Cost of living is the same pretty much too, so I will give you that.

But that doesn’t make Ohio the more pleasant place to live. Still doesn’t change the fact that this is a piece of shit state with narrow-minded people and no positive direction. There are no jobs being created any time soon. The government recession may be plateauing but it still isn’t over and there are still more and more job cuts being made. In Cleveland, Toledo, or Cincinnati, I don’t think the economy will be rising any time soon in these cities. It just won’t happen here. People are poor, and spend more money on fast food than paying the bills, the unemployment rates are too high and while the rate may be 10.5% here, that’s only in jobs with benefits. We have such a large population of unemployed workers between the ages of 17-25 here, especially in Northeast Ohio. The unemployment rate in Ohio counting jobs without benefits is about 18%. The county I live in is about 16% total.

And you are comparing Ohio to Pennsylvania and Michigan as far as stuff to look at and economic development. OK well with the suburbs of Toledo, I guarantee there is terrible economic development there. People don’t upkeep the city anymore. Everyone drinks and eats fast food there that they don’t care about their property values. You got the black people who put fences up around their yard, which makes things ugly and ruins the value of homes around them, but they don’t care. You got the homes with 2 or 3 single women living there and they don’t do shit to their yard but throw cigarette butts on them. There are people in Toledo who probably haven’t owned a lawn mower or weedwacker in 10 years.

OK and I would rather live in Florida with nice landscape, sun shining, pleasant looking people, and white sand beaches than live in areas with cigarette butts all over the road, train tracks with weeds growing around them, bridges that are falling apart and about to fall down, homes that are supposed to be worth $200,000 that are valued at $140,000, roads that are narrow as hell, degrading and empty abandoned buildings, bars with pissed off white trash people hanging out at them, fast food places every mile down the road, homeless people expecting a handout the closer you get to the city, fat people walking around wearing clothes from the 1980’s, and Wal-Marts or CVSs everywhere. Driving through Ohio, there is nothing nice to look at. And with people in Florida working in tourism, at least they have a growing industry. Ohio’s growing industry is fast-food and tattoo places. Ohio has the worst concept of having a diversified economy compared to other states. Well Michigan may be worse. Ohio’s economy is retail (with more jobs being cut for that), telemarketing, factories that are meaningless, and fake businesses popping up because of the economic downturn. Face it, there are no decent paying jobs here except the very few corporate companies downtown who by the way are cutting back majorly. And just so you know, since 2007, there have been a total of 45 retail businesses in just NE Ohio that went out of business because they couldn’t compete with the economy. Source is Cleveland magazine. Everything is way too backwards here to want to live here and be able to succeed.

Yes – Florida has hurricanes, Arizona has oppressive heat, black widow spiders, and poison snakes. California has Earthqaukes, mudslides, and wildfires. Oregon, Wyoming, and Hawaii could explode from catastrophic volcanic eruptions at any moment. Nevada is covered in residual radiation from atmospheric and underground nuke testing, and Texas – is, well, God help us it’s just Texas, but Ohio…Yesss…Ohio can drain your very soul like a vampiric parasite.

Ohio has it’s own unique flavor of agony. In those other states – there are upsides and pros that offset the downsides and cons – but not here. Not here in the Netherworld,s kindergarten, noooooo. Ohio has little water for a dry and parched tongue. It’s a void – a nothingness.

Statistics are BULLSHIT Mike. I’m not great at math really – but I could show you how I could use statistics to demonstrate inarguably to you that people who eat celery on a weekly basis are 70% more likely to be gay, or turn gay, than non habitual celery eaters.

I could prove to you that you are 25% more likely to die in an an auto accident if you sleep on your back every night as opposed to sleeping on your stomach. I could demonstrate how you are more prone to heart disease if your last name has two vowels seperated by a consenant, is no more than five letters long, and ends with an “H”.

Mike – I could even use statistics to persuade you that if you ate blueberry ice cream every new moon for three months – you were going to be inclined to be ass raped by a cross eyed Saint Barnard with a limp. Don’t l;isten to statistics – listen to a native!

Oh – You’ll be ok for a while anyway – that is – until it traps you. It’ll start with a minor depression – shortly followed by your life crumbling to pieces, but it’ll happen. Eventually, you’ll taste the wrath and evil vibe of this sink hole. You can’t avoid it. Leave while you can – because if you don’t, then you’ll become a part of this concentric circle in Dante’s Inferno. You’ve been warned little brother. It will chew you to pieces…

Go ahead…Spout statistics if it makes you feel more warm and cuddly in the night. When you said your wife wanted to move here – and I read that – it made a deathly cold shiver craaawwwlll down my lily white spine like the icy touch of doom. Yes, Florida’s not all beaches and smiles, but you’ve walked right into the greyest qwagmire of lethargic entropy and abyssmal decay that you will probably ever know.

They so that to…The lost souls forever chained to this place…”Hey – everyplace you live has it’s down points.” …Yes…They say that to.

Leave this place Mike – or you will forever say that. You will say that one day with gaunt dark circles under your eyes, tears streaming down your face, and a weight like a boulder on your back that you will carry with you as you drag yourself out of your bed every morning.
That phrase will be the one saving grace that you’ll have to cling to.

Bless you Mike – I wish you all the best…

Talking about cold winters, head to Michigan. The roads there are horrible because they don’t clear them off. You want to talk about bad cities, just look at Detroit and Flint. Urban decay everywhere and crime through the roof. Detroit is the most dangerous city in the nation. Flint not far behind. Pennsylvania has some of the worst freeways in the nation. They’re horrible with potholes everywhere.

My wife moved to Ohio from Florida, and you want to talk about their fair share of problems. Hurricanes are horrible there. They still have damage in downtown West Palm with three highrises abandoned since Katrina. Not to mention the horrible cost of living and the horrible school system. Florida is ranked 45th in graduation compared to 17th here in Ohio. We have many large cooperations based here in Ohio. There is a lot that I didn’t even know were based here.

Also Toledo has the 6th highest amount of development going into the Midwest. Competing with cities like Chicago, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Columbus, St.Louis, and Minneapolis. You want to talk about jobs. Ha, just look at Florida where most people make their living off being a waitress or working in the tourism business. Trust me they don’t make much money. I know this because a lot of my family lives there. My brother in-law and his wife are moving from Boca Raton, Florida to Columbus, Ohio for a better education for their kids. They had no problem finding a job here and they got a 600k dollar house in Dublin (a suburb of Columbus. A 600k dollar house in Florida is nothing. It’s very small and probably in a bad neighborhood. In Ohio that can buy you so much with money to spare.

I moved to Ohio from Pennsylvania, I can tell you without a doubt that Ohio is a much better state to live in. I work with many people from across the world that have moved to Cleveland. A lot from West Virgina and Kentucky getting a better job oppurtunity. I have been to many states across the country because my job makes me travel. I can tell you that Ohio doesn’t face near the amount of problems some other states are facing, believe it or not.

Everyone here has shared their opinions, and I’m sorry you don’t like Ohio. Just remember no place is perfect. I had to come in here and correct some things. I know many people who have moved to Ohio and hated it, and some that loved it. Eventually it just comes down to who you are as a person, and what things you’re looking for in life. Don’t blame a state for what it is, but rather blame yourself for not knowing exactly what you will have to deal with anywhere you go.

Seriously I’m thinking that somebody ought to start a rescue fund to help people move the frak outta here man.

YES – yes – yes – there are commonly probably far better looking women on average in prison, than walking around free here in the buttfu..Er..I mean “buckeye” state. Yes, people have a snotty attitude here. Yes – the state in general sucks unwashed porno cock, but seriously – if you can leave, LEAVE! If you can’t leave, like me and most of the people on this forum, then plan to leave.

I’m going to TRY to streamline my budget to evac the hell outta this toilet. I’ve had it.

Their imagining on a subliminal level that they are actually part of something better – even if it’s fucking PITTSBURGH!!! Sad…Oh man – how pitiful…

If I leave here, I’m never coming back to live here – even if my finances are shot and I’m living in a box under an interstate bypass – because I know it’s an eternal trap, and bad vibes of this magnitude are NOT worth it.
NO FRICKIN WAY!!!

I’ve done that “return to smegma” fucking shit, and it wasn’t even by my choice really – I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!

Some people dream of wealth, others want power, others want to find true love, and still others want to taste sexual experiences that make the mind reel. Me – do you want to know what MY dream is? Do you want to know what causes a tear of joy to well up in MY eyes when I dream about it?
I’ll tell you…It’s to whip out my hose and take a good healthy piss on the highway sign that reads “WELCOME TO OHIO”, and then get back into my car and haul ass in the opposite direction, either west towards Vegas, or south towards Florida, AND NEVER LOOK THE FUCK BACK – EEEVVVEEEERRRR!!!!!

I asked my one buddy who works for a magazine down in Dallas, TX, if he ever meets any good-looking single women between the ages of 24-30 that are educated and don’t have a child. He said very often and usually has at least 1 date every 4 weeks. That’s hard to come by over here. Most women around here are pissed off and have kids by accident. They also don’t care about their image as much and it just makes you sigh if you are a good-looking single guy, who is educated, has a job or two, and is looking to start a life. Well actually, sometimes it’s not by choice if you are stuck here when it’s hard to save up enough money and live somewhere else. I hate the mentality in NE Ohio.

Everything good in the business world is kept private, the media has nothing positive to write about so they make up and twist things. Most businesses/companies don’t like recent college graduates and the idea of them succeeding. Rather, they care more about their own finances and worrying about how much money they will be able to hold onto after future retirees leave. There are too many things around here that are backwards, especially parenting and the school systems. Politics are at an all-time high in most districts and they care way too much about being better than the other schools next door. Makes teachers, such as my brother want to throw up.

How the hell can you succeed in life living in Cleveland or Toledo or Youngstown? Especially being on your own and just graduating college, even with a higher degree. I feel bad for all these college graduates with nowhere to go. I guess they have to rely on family businesses if they have them. Or start their own small companies and do jobs that are anything having to do with labor and barely making above minimum wage. Just creates a high volume of people who don’t want to work but want lots of money and expect handouts. No wonder why people are pushing to have casinos in Ohio. They want to try to get money fast and plus the state needs a ton of money from all the crappy funding and spending in the past. I might go out on a limb here and say that leadership doesn’t exist a whole lot in NE Ohio.

No one has a clue on when anything and everything will get better. President Obama is a bum who can’t even run a country and we’ve all seen what he has done to the economy. I am worried I won’t be able to retire or even have social security left for me by the time I am 55. Then he is having trouble keeping his hands off my health care, it just never stops. Nothing is going to grow and get better if everything keeps trying to be universalized.

I was with you until you started talking about not being able to succeed here unless you are a minority. I believe that you are wrong there. Minorities have it bad, not only in Ohio, but everywhere else in the country. Ohio is very racist. I’ve seen alot of racism concentrated in all of NE Ohio and cities like Cincinnati. If you are a minority and you wish to succeed in this state…you are better off looking toward Columbus. Ohio in general sucks, but, Columbus is probably as best as Ohio gets. It’s the only city that has a diverse economy and appears more accepting of difference races and nationalities. Otherwise, you are better off leaving this craphole for all the reasons mentioned above.

There are way too many jobs that are never coming back here. People have ruined this state and taken it down. Since 1997, Ohio has been negative 40,000 in jobs, while Texas has been positive 500,000 and Tennessee 75,000 in jobs. This a fact from Forbes research and Money magazine. You could probably move to any metro city in Texas and be happy for life and never want to come back to this dreary state. This state has nothing good to offer and its #1 export is people hands down. There are so many things in this state that push people away and I think we all can name off at least 50 reasons.

I like when Bill The Depressed mentioned how you can’t use big words around people here. This one amazes me because I can’t tell you how many times someone gave me that “you are weird” face whenever I used big words or said something intelligent. Or better yet, many people have told me “You’re gonna have to dumb it down for me.” whenever I explained or asked something to them. This even happens at work lol. If you are an arrogant douchebag in this state, people will actually like you, especially true for single women. If you are full of yourself and/or act like a yuppy, you are more likely to get a job for some reason.

After living in this state my whole life, I have concluded the following:

1) No other state could possibly top Ohio in the “I only care about myself and don’t want to have anything to do with anyone who is not like me.” category.
2) This state by far has the most people who never say hello back when you say hello to them.
3) This state has a ton of people who complain about their finances but go out the next day and spend an outrageous amount of money on something that they probably don’t need. And then they want help from the government (It’s the bills that aren’t being paid)
4) The state has more Steelers fans than Browns or Bengals fans. I may need a detective to figure this one out, because I haven’t solved this case yet.
5) Ohio has the worst drivers of any of the other 10 states I have been to from all angles.
6) We have the most people who stay inside all day.
7) Ohio probably has the highest alcohol consumption rate per capita than any other state.
The worst sports teams, need I say more. Miserableness is the gathering point.
9) Ohio has a shit ton of teenagers or people under 21 who are pregnant, already had a kid, and/or have had sex 20+ times already.
10) It’s very difficult to get ahead or succeed in life here with a college education, good looks, volunteer experience, and aren’t a minority. Because people in Ohio don’t think these things are a big deal. (Translation = If you recently graduated college, get the hell out before the idiots here drag you down)
11) Ohio State football is the reason why people get up in the morning.

Well I hope I have been in assistance to anyone who has never had thoughts of leaving Ohio. And to those who have never lived in Ohio, start thinking of a backup plan if you do decide to move here.

If you want me out of your precious state – then start a collection for me, I’ll need at least $25,000,00.

If you did that for me – then I would love you forever, irregardless of whether or not you were deranged enough to actually enjoy living in a place like this. If I ever had children – I’de name my firstborn after you. I would give you a kidney if you ever needed a transplant. I’de buy you something every Christmas – and also on your birthdays. I would love you dearly. I would weep at the mere mention of your name with sublime devotion and heart felt thanksgiving. If I ever became rich – I’de build a Hospital and name it after you. I would build a monument in your honor. I would be a faithful and devoted friend to you with fanatical – almost religious ferver.

I’ve had my gripe – I’m done with it…

To people from Tadzikistan, Ohio might be like Malibu on a sunny day, but to everyone else who have tasted life outside of this rot hole, it’s a unbearable adventure in misery.

Why do Mexican immigrants move here? I’m not against them really – and I’m not being biggoted either – I just can’t understand how they could even begin to possibly believe that Ohio is BETTER than Mexico. Why are they running deliberately into agony? Surely no-one could possibly be so desperate except those souls from those rare places upon the tiny blue planet that are worse.

Did you know that Ohio is also one of the states in the union with the most cemetaries per county?
Nearly every town, no matter how big or small, has approximately four cemetaries at least. Not only that, but your also not counting the ancient indian burial sites that are also all over the state. It’s a place of despair.

As you enter the state line – the sign shouldn’t say “Welcome To Ohio” – it should be more truthful. It should read something like “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here”. This state will trap you because once you move here it will suck your finances, and then when your caught – it will torture you with a litany of dismality, cruel irony, misfortune, emotional turbulence, anti – success, and dirty gray entropic lethargy – like the waters of a luke warm, stagnant spillway full of old sewage and sludge.

Living here is like sliding into a manure pit where the sides are too slimy to pull yourself out of it. It reminds me of that thing in the original Star Wars movie out in the desert – that looks like a hole in the ground with teeth sprouting out of it.

I HATE this place – and that’s an understatement…

Ohio is also one the top states for property damage due to severe weather annually (not a good place to live – that’s why housing is generally cheaper, because you’ll only own it up until a nice breeze sends your shiznak off to the jolly old land of OZ).

If you live in Ohio – best have lots of video and computer games and board games and such – cause you aint goin out of the house NO WHERE from Late November to mid April aside from going to work.
You’ll also need a fortune in Gas Treatment and Antifreeze, and maybe a change of tire or to from them either collapsing too much, or exploding from the -10 degree F weather that starts around Late January / early February.