Edward Champion's Return of the Reluctant

2 Blowhards has published an email going around known as the Retrosexual Code, a series of statements so antediluvian, Victorian-minded, prudish and unrealistic in its scope that I can't imagine any real human being abiding by it.

In response, I hereby draft the Whatevahsexual Code:

A Whatevahsexual does pretty much whatevah he wants, but realizes that every action unpleasant to the other party may have an opposite and equally unpleasant reaction. Thus, he finds the proper balance.

A Whatevahsexual pays for the date sometimes. Sometimes, he lets his main squeeze do it. Sometimes, the two go in half. The ideal is a common ground that considers the fiscal situation of both parties. The difference between the Regulahsexual and the Whatevahsexual is that the latter is coureageous enough to be realistic about his financial predicament. But the Whateveahsexual is never a sponge, fiscally or emotionally.

A Whatevahsexual is himself, which means being naturally kind and considerate of the other party. Over-the-top dramatics like opening every damn door his woman will ever walk through is out of the question, given that this kind of expectation is not only about as realistic as a Jude Deveraux novel, but far removed from all agreed upon definitions of the male mind.

A Whatevahsexual is shrewd enough to realize that there are some things that he just can't solve, topics that he is, in fact,

A Whatevahsexual isn't afraid to order a girly drink

Posted by DrMabuse at May 19, 2004 04:56 PM | TrackBack