Comments on: Review: Friday the 13th (2009)

By: Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:47:35 +0000

what u on about…jared padalecki is an awesome actor no matter what film he’s in, so in my opinion this film is mint coz he’s in it

By: Bryan

Bryan — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 21:42:45 +0000

Oh…my…god. Armond spat forth some of the dumbest commentary I’ve seen in a long time.

I haven’t seen F13, but Nispel’s TCM was horrible. And the dialogue sucked hard. Nispel does have genuine talent for music videos and commercials, but he can’t construct a story that makes you FEEL anything.

Calling Cronenberg “visually tone deaf” is quite ignorant.

By: tiller

tiller — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 02:36:51 +0000

i hate you,everything about you, you suck…

oh.. and Asian dude didn’t trip and fall down because he was clumsy, he did because he burnt his lip on the shot glass because he let it stay lit too long… and… black people can’t jack off???… and… who gives a fuck about anything you said, the movie distracted me for about 2 hours, good enough for me, fuck off

By: Ashley

Ashley — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:17:18 +0000

Entertaining ?? Yes, they took a legendary Horror movie and made it a COMEDY !! whatever !!

a word of advice for Mr. Derek Mears, if they offer you a sequel … SAY NO !! You are a horrible Jason !! no offense but come on, watch and study a couple Friday the 13ths, and figure out what you did wrong !! (First of all Jason doesn’t run !! Thats what makes him so scary!)

it really pisses me off that Hollywood had become so unorigianl that they take such classics as Jason turn them into horrid miserable failed atempts at a decent movie and get good reviews from mindless idiots who wouldn’t recognize a good movie if it ran up, introduced itself, and did the can-can !! You know what else pisses me off ?? How people think that putting in bad acting whores is going to make your movie better !! Yes, Jason is known for its “boob shots” however they are usually done tastefully .. thats another thing you all SUCK at !! Maybe Hollywood should start casting by talent and not cup size considering these whore royally F****** you movie !!

When you put a Disney Channel star in a HORROR movie, you know something is wrong. Dont get me wrong i am a HUGE Danielle Panabaker Film, But you dont mess with Jason !! The Friday the 13th series is my favorite thing in the whole world and these losers done went and F***** it royally !! i have no respect for anyone who wrote, directed, or casted this movie, (considering the only two in the whole movie that could act were Danielle Panabaker, and Jered Pedalecki)

This movie sucked and if there is a part 23 im boycotting !! It should be against the law to screw up and amazing movie they way these idiots did !! Congrats guys, no wonder Kane Hodder wouldn’t do this movie .. who in there right mind would ??

I HATED IT !! IF I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A REFUND I WOULD HAVE BUT NOOOOO, I WASTED 15 BUCKS ON THIS WHEN I WOULD HAVE RATHER GOUGED OUT MY EYES !!

By: Donovan Jones

Donovan Jones — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 01:22:04 +0000

Ya relax bro, Jason is a legend, and they did a good job making the film…

Everybody has their opinions and my mine is that Jason is the best film based murder hands down!

Movies are ment for entertainment, and entertaining it was….

I seen all the older movies and yes we all know directors always fuck shit it!

The Friday the 13th series had many different directors so that’s to be expected
Like they did Street Fighter and now the Terminator movie series…

The movie was scary entertaining and I seen it twice in two different locations…

Long Live the rebirth of the Friday the 13th movie series…

And relax bro and have fun…

By: Joel

Joel — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 04:14:13 +0000

Yeah, that did seem kind of jealous. After two glasses of wine, I now concede your point. Happy President’s Day!

By: JR

JR — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 04:05:27 +0000

Exactly what I thought.

By: Joel

Joel — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:46:48 +0000

Plenty of people can do a better Armond–years ago, I had actually wrote a letter to the Press about a Seitz review that was Armond-esqu enough that the headline above the letter read, “Armond, Is That You?”–but I accept that it was a good attempt. The word “nihilism” needed to pop up somewhere. Comparing Nisquel to Godard would have been less obvious than the Spielberg remark. And maybe “childish” was the wrong word. It just seemed to miss its target as widely as that Colson Whitehead’s parody of James Wood, in this month’s Harper’s, missed its target.

By: JR

JR — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:05:13 +0000

Oh Joel. Lighten up, would you? The only thing childish is the fact that you’re jealous you didn’t pull it off yourself.

By: DrMabuse

DrMabuse — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 21:38:22 +0000

That was not Armond White. The IP address matches up with a frequent commenter who has left comments under several identities here for many years.

By: Joel

Joel — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 21:09:16 +0000

Why would Armond White slight the Coen Brothers (who he has repeatedly praised)? Also, he probably wouldn’t use the phrase “visually tone deaf.” At least I hope he wouldn’t. That was just childish and rather ill-informed parody.

By: Richard

Richard — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 14:09:42 +0000

Surely that’s someone parodying Armond White, no? Not that he’s not an ongoing parody of himself.

By: Jason Pinter

Jason Pinter — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 01:20:11 +0000

First off, Nispel is responsible for not one iota of pop iconography in either F13 or “Texas Chainsaw”. These are both series in which the iconic characters were created by other people thirty years ago (Sean Cunningham is most responsible for Jason, Tobe Hooper for Leatherface). Nispel is simply using other peoples’ visions and updating them with larger budgets and actors who have better access to personal trainers and padded bras. And the dialogue? Come on. You show me one real person who talks like these people do and I’ll show you an indestructible serial killer in a hockey mask. It’s basically the same cast in the new F13 that was in TCM. Take young, attractive, actors who have no problem getting nude and working cheap, add one semi-recognizable name (Jessica Biel in TCM, Jared Padalecki and Amanda Righetti in F13) and have them run and scream a lot. Yes, the remakes of F13 and TCM are ‘prettier’ than their predecessors, but part of what made the original TCM so damn scary was the feeling that you could have been watching a home movie or documentary, not a Michael Bay-produced piece of celluloid. And let’s be honest, none of the F13 movies have been much good (the original really was meant to ride the coattails of “Halloween” and got lucky), so in Nispel’s case the production values actually might add a little bit. These movies are not art and are not meant to be art, and discussing them and praising their directors as the ‘real deal’ is plain silly. Watch a George Romero movie and you’ll get the same squeamish, gory thrills, but with actual dialogue and relevant social context. Or one of the “Evil Dead” movies which have true artistic vision, and a director who is ‘the real deal.’

BTW, for whatever reason I’m a fan of the F13 series (mainly because I was a Jason born in 1979 and Jason Voorhees film debut was in 1980, and I like that a big horror icon and I shared the same name). So this comment is posted semi-lovingly to the series.

By: DrMabuse

DrMabuse — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 21:17:11 +0000

Armond: Good to see you here. Salient pop cultural issues like the racism cited above? Visuals like the poorly lit, grainy footage in the mineshaft? Having an ear for the way that real people talk and think with such sample dialogue as

A: Your tits are stupendous.
B: You know, you really know how to make a girl feel special.
A: That’s what I do.

I notice that you’re nowhere on the record on FRIDAY THE 13TH. I also know that you singled Nispel out in THE RESISTANCE. But a good music video director does not necessarily translate into a good feature film director. Please enlighten the “hipster critics” as to why the FRIDAY THE 13TH remake is the BREATHLESS of our time. Or are you so blinded by your partisanship that you can’t possibly confess that a director who you’ve championed has whipped up a middling effort? The auteur theory doesn’t provide a guarantee against a lousy and moronic script written for the lowest common denominator.

By: Armond White

Armond White — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:50:54 +0000

Marcus Nispel is a real filmmaker dealing with salient pop cultures issues, unlike the wannabes and frauds that make up the current canon for hipster critics who feel more comfortable mocking core everyday values than engaging with populist rhetoric. Not only can Nispel run rings around the visually tone deaf (Cronenberg, The Coens, Paul Thomas Anderson), but he has an ear for how real people talk and think, and understands that mise-en-scene should rely on bodily action, not just stasis, which is what some critics, by championing the middling efforts of Carlos Reygadas, would have you believe is the height of artistic honesty. In fact, static camera placement is nothing more than a mea culpa for the current bankrupt culture of cinema that passes for “independent” cinema these days. Nispel shares with Spielberg the need to not only thrill his audiences, but to point out that pop iconography is just as important as quasi-religious posturing. Nispel is the real deal. That some critics don’t want to admit that shows a hatred for not only the best that American film has to offer, but for America itself.

By: Jay

Jay — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 18:14:49 +0000

I didn’t really notice the racial undertones until you pointed them out…kinda fucked up.

By: DrMabuse

DrMabuse — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:33:36 +0000

Joey: Thanks for the correction.

By: Joey

Joey — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:27:39 +0000

Or maybe she was fed and kept hydrated by the random rats running around. = Edward Hilarious Point.

By: Joey

Joey — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:24:43 +0000

Mother* Not Sister

By: Arne

Arne — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:14:29 +0000

Great review, the movie sucked balls.