The first wave of bitch slaps has begun. Dale Peck has been bitch-slapped by Stanley Crouch. Who will deliver Peck Bitch Slap #2? Here are the odds:

James Joyce’s Corpse: 3 to 1
Terry McMillan: 5 to 1
Colson Whitehead: 17 to 1
Julian Barnes: 19 to 1
Rick Moody: 20 to 1
Sven Birkets: 400 to 1
Jim Crace: Statistics unavailable.

I’m not sure how I missed this when it appeared in the Times, but Rick Marin attempted to examine (in part) the effects of Viagra upon literature. Now that so many septuagenarians are potent, books like Kingsley Amis’s Jake’s Thing, with impotent protagonists, appear dated. But to my immense astonishment, no serious paper or article seems to exist on this timely subject. If older men are to be permitted their older protagonists sleeping around with younger women, then the time has come to call upon novelists relying upon Viagra as a gimmick (and, yes, that includes you, Philip Roth!). Or better yet, ladies, why not counter with more Jane Juska-style tomes?

The Book Babes can now be found in Good Housekeeping. This placement alone speaks for itself, but the great shocker is that Ellen is actually aware of Knut Hamsun!

After being sculpted for The Lord of the Rings, New Zealand is being turned into Narnia for the upcoming film adaptations. Reports are now circulating that New Zealanders are undergoing permanent cosmetic surgery to turn themselves into orcs, elves, fairies, and dwarfs to get work on the steady influx of fantasy film adaptations.