Like, there’s this interview with Chuck Palahniuk, published on, what was it?

“July 7, 2004.”

Thank you, man. If it wasn’t for my steady consciousness, I’d have to look it up on the Internet.

“You were looking it up on the Internet.”

Whatever, man. You’re a fucking genius.

“Yeah, I received rejections from The Stranger in Seattle. Way back.”

Here we go. Oh, OK, I remember that.

“OK.”

OK.

“OK.”

That’s probably why we couldn’t remember.

“What were we talking about?”

I’m like, the next Birnbaum, dude.

“No, Sarvas is.”

Cool.

As Mark notes, Kevin needs a guest blogger. And, if truth be told, we will too for extended periods of down time through the summer. We’ve tried to convince Jimmy Beck, but he’s hopelessly devoted to the Hag. And we can respect that. All other aspirants, please don’t hesitate to drop either Kevin or I a buzz.

[UPDATE: Sarah needs one around August too.]

A £250,000 book, one of many pillaged from archeological sites in Iraq, is now safe at Scotland Yard. The book was one of hundreds swiped from the Awqaf library in 1995, and proved to be the most valuable of the bunch.

Teenagers let out a collective cry this morning as Justin Timberlake switched the release date of his autobiography, so as not to compete with Robbie Williams. Whether Mr. Timberlake promises confessions as grand as Rosseau or Cellini, I am not to judge. My own uneducated opinion on the matter is that, if I had to choose, Williams might be the better bet here. At least he can hold his water.

The Independent reports that perhaps the most important intellectual battle of our time is being waged in Le Monde: Is Harry Potter a capitalist neo-liberal sellout? Or is he against globalization? Who knew that J.K. Rowling was a grand seer in the tradition of L. Frank Baum?

Next up: Is Spongebob Squarepants a Marxist or a Trotskist? Do the Teletubbies represent a failed 1970s commune more effectively than T.C. Boyle’s Drop City?

(And in a somewhat related matter, Rowling’s fessed that she pulled her character names from phone books.)