Month / January 2007

by Edward Champion

Vollmann Transposed

Vollmann at Denny’s: “I hate to order food like this. I especially hate to disparage the work of someone who, like that short-order cook behind the counter, has put his life on the line for the ostensible purpose of serving patty melts, such as they are. In the hope of finding something more constructive to say, I decided to preface my Scram Slam with a meticulously cooked mushroom and Jarlsberg omelet.”

Vollmann at the bank: “I hate to stand in line like this. I especially hate to disparage the work of someone who, like that sexy but miserable-looking woman behind the counter, has had to cash endless checks for money that she will never get a cut of, save for the meager paychecks she collects, such as it is. In the hope of finding better use of my time, I decided to cash my check at the ATM machine.”

Vollmann on April 15: “I hate to file my taxes like this. I especially hate to cut into my writing time. I started a 900 page novel a month ago and am now almost finished with it. In the hope of finding more time to write about prostitutes in an obscure nation that you have likely never heard of, I have decided to commission the services of H&R Block this year.”

(Source)

by Edward Champion

Roundup

  • On the AMS fallout front, five publishers have been selected for the AMS creditors committee: Random House, Penguin, Hachette, Grove/Atlantic and Wisdom Publications. The Delaware Bankruptcy Court declined to form a second committee consisting of the remaining PGW clients. Whether the creditors committee will take into account the precarious burdens of indie publishers remains to be seen, but with the second committee denied, this doesn’t look good. Galleycat has more.
  • Over at the LBC, this quarter’s Read This! choice has been announced. Once again, The Bat Segundo Show will be teaming up with Pinky’s Paperhaus to bring you interviews with all the nominators and nominees. (And I’ll be back in business very soon on the Segundo front, as soon as I get things squared away on other fronts. There are some hot interviews coming up that you won’t want to miss.)
  • Norman Mailer says that there’s very little interest in novels anymore. Perhaps he means to suggest that there’s very little interest in his novels anymore.
  • Is knit lit a new genre? I hope not. It’s difficult to take any word that’s close to “nitwit” seriously.
  • Normally, I’m all for awards that recognize both the novelist and the screenwriters behind a literary adaptation. But I must strenuously object to awarding P.D. James the Scripter. Children of Men went from potboiler to engaging cinema entirely because of Cuaron and his writers. And to award James any kind of merit for the way that these screenwriters turned a sow’s ear into a bleak purse is to reward mediocrity. What next? Giving a hack like John Grisham an award for the work done by Clyde Hayes and Francis Ford Coppola? If ever there was an honor awarded for a no talent assclown sitting on her ass, the Scripter may very well be it.
  • UPI reports on the Decibel Penguin Prize controversy. The prize, established to award diversity, faced serious legal action because it discriminated against Caucasians. It probably wasn’t a wise idea to introduce an award in a country where affirmative action was about as common as food without mayonnaise. Perhaps this was a case of misunderstanding with our friends across the pond. But don’t worry, folks! The oppressed white male will get yet another shot at dominating yet another literary award. Remember, folks, there’s always room for Whitey!
  • Paul Krassner is right. Where’s the mainstream media attention to Robert Anton Wilson’s death?
  • Dana Spiotta appears as part of Largeheartedboy’s Book Notes series.
  • Laila Lalami reports on the banning of Nichane.
  • And I’m the walking dead today, folks: good for perhaps little more than a poorly translated (and poorly remembered) Swedish joke about a milkmaid in a brothel that I heard from a bleary-eyed pal in a beer hall. No putsches here, but certainly many putzes now parked on my medulla oblongata. But I’ll try and check in later.
by Edward Champion

Writers with Drinks

I’m not one to plug my fictive endeavors (and frankly I’m still bemused that I’ve been invited to do this, perhaps because they associated the “drinks” part with me; who knows?), but this is a reminder to any and all interested parties that I will be making an appearance at Writers with Drinks on Saturday, January 20, 2007 at The Rickshaw Stop at 7 PM, along with writers who are much better at this fiction thing than I am. In fact, the hell with me. Check out this lineup: Michelle Tea! Andrew Sean Greer! Kim Stanley Robinson! Michael Blumlein! Justin Chin! I mean, how can you not swoon over that roster?

I will be reading the first chapter of my novel in progress. There was an impromptu test reading over the weekend, largely because Mr. Asher coaxed me to read it in front of a small group of literary types.

The Writers with Drinks performance will be considerably more high-octane, and it will also feature a live reprise of Part One of “The Neurotic Chronicles” (for those who haven’t heard it) and possibly some audience participation.

Check it out! There may also be another very special guest.