Meditations on a Pizza Delivery Man

He walked westward on Washington Street, carrying a burgundy bag cloaking pizza boxes, as if it were a faux pas to reveal cardboard in the Financial District. In his other hand, two white plastic bags, containing fixings, the top ends neatly twisted in the same relentless knots found in some Chinese restaurants. He was ignored by everyone else. You might even say that, aside from my five-second glance, I ignored him too. Why exculpate myself? What business did I have with the man? It wasn’t as if he was bringing me food. And even if he was, it wasn’t as if I’d get to know him, or ask him about the sports or the weather, let alone his name. The only thing I’d probably do is tip him generously. Perhaps more so than the investment bankers he was delivering lunch to, if I were to rely upon the remarkable tip-to-income inverse ratio described by acquaintances who worked in the food service industry.

He remained unnamed, as anonymous as a soldier in a tomb. Not even a name tag. Instead, the red pizza uniform and the slightly mystified and resigned look revealing why he, a man of thirty-five or so, was still delivering pizzas at his age, and how the advancing years had made him more invisible, and how he had quietly accepted his lot.

I took in many details in five seconds: his unsmiling face, the way he hid his eyes beneath sunglasses (it was a sunny day, but not that sunny), the white flecks settling into his dark hair, a torso neither muscular nor paunchy, but perfectly nondescript. Did he have a wife and kids? What were his hobbies? Did he have a second job? Did he have health care?

I thought of the pizza delivery man when I stood in line for lunch. And I fell quietly into line with the rest of the suits. I was an utter hypocrite. And there were more people there, paid to service us, with soft lines beneath their eyes and fabricated smiles to last the afternoon. I couldn’t eat easily. Because I kept thinking to myself: at what cost this food? Not the monetary cost, but the price I had paid in basic human decency. “Thank you” and brief pleasant talk didn’t cut it. This was the current economy. This was the human food chain.

Blogging Entrepreneur in Action

tomvu.jpgI’m Jason Calacanis! Come to my seminar! Look at the choices I have today! Would you like to have choices like this, someday? I became a multimillionaire from blogging. They kept saying, “Jason Calacanis, you’re a crazy nut. Here you are a smug white boy. Look at all the people out there! They’re smarter than you, and they’re not even rich! Who are you to try?” And you know what? I had to keep telling all these people, “You a loser! Get out of my way! I make it on Technorati somehow!” If you want to rise to the top of the blogs, come to my seminar, let me share with you the three little words that can change anybody’s life. I have a beautiful mansion, luxury cars, yachts, and dozens of babes as my arm candy. Come to my seminar and I’ll tell you how you can get all these things through blogging!

Details on Gilbert Sorrentino’s Final Novel

Golden Handcuffs Review has an excerpt from Gilbert Sorrentino’s last novel, The Abyss of Human Illusion, completed a mere month after Sorrentino died. They’ve also been kind enough to include Christopher Sorrentino’s afterword, in which Sorrentino spills, “The title is taken from Henry James’ story, ‘The Middle Years,’ in which Dencombe, an ailing older writer ‘who had a reputation” — mostly for disappointing sales — sits at the edge of the sea, indifferently holding a copy of his newest book (also called The Middle Years), still in the envelope in which it has been forwarded by his publisher, considering his own incapacity for wonder, surprise, astonished joy.”

As of yet, there appears to be no publisher lined up for this book. I have emailed Coffee House Press, who has published many of Sorrentino’s last few novels, as well as Christopher Sorrentino himself to determine what the current situation is.

(via This Space)

[UPDATE: Christopher Sorrentino reports that there is “a handshake deal” with Coffee House Press and that he is now in the process of interpreting sections of his father’s manuscript, which includes having to guess what certain notations mean and reading near illegible handwritten script. Since Christopher is a talented novelist in his own right (see the NBA-nominated Trance), I can think of no better candidate for the job.]

[UPDATE 2: Coffee House likewise reports that this is the case. While there are no firm details as of yet, sometime after May 2008 looks to be the pub date.]