Time Was, George Will’s Syndicated Content for the Midwest Fostered Folksy Generalizations ‘Bout Ol’ Readin’ News

George Will: “Time was, books were the primary means of knowing things. Now most people learn most things visually, from the graphic presentation of immediately, effortlessly accessible pictures.”

GEORGE WILL: “Sheet, boss, you see dat ALA survey? Not nobody be reading no more.”

GEORGE WILL’S EDITOR: “Yeehaw! You’re darn tootin’. Who need dem books? Hey, Georgie, why not write a piece wi’ some of dem rash generalizations. You’re due a column, aintcher?”

GEORGE WILL: “Well, boss, you and I’ze know dats true. And I been lax o’ late. And I’m shures youze understand. I reckon I never learned no nothing from dem books.”

GEORGE WILL’S EDITOR: “Footnotes, sources, dem stuff’s worthless, right? Ain’t nobody pay no attention to scholarship.”

GEORGE WILL: “I reckon. No real mind anyhows.”

GEORGE WILL’S EDITOR: “All visual, like dat issue of Archie where Jughead’s laughing his teenage butt off after Archie falls on his butt.”

GEORGE WILL: “Oh, dat shure was funny.”

GEORGE WILL’S EDITOR: “Reckon you got 750 words dere.”

GEORGE WILL: “On Archie?”

GEORGE WILL’S EDITOR: “No, dang it, boy! Readin’! Easy. Say sumpin’ bout Dickens. You might wanta ask Ol’ Jack Bedford up the hill. He know lotsa stuff. He read. He give you sumpin’ if you give him a dollah.”

GEORGE WILL: “A dollah? Really? Darn tootin!”

GEORGE WILL’S EDITOR: “Maybe sumpin’ bout Roosevelt or World War II.”

GEORGE WILL: “Youza sharp one, boss! The piece will write itself!”

Jerry Goldsmith Dead

One of the greatest living movie composers, Jerry Goldsmith, has passed on. He was 75. Goldsmith composed over three hundred scores (more than Ennio Morricone) and nearly every one of them was a barn-buster. I’ll have more to say on this later. Needless to say, Goldsmith’s death is a loss to cinema beyond compare.

Glengarry Powell Ross

Powell’s is hosting an essay contest celebrating ten years of bidness. Put that credit card down! That credit card is for buyers! You think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. The good news is you’re fired. The bad news is, you’ve got, all you’ve got just one week to write an essay for Powell’s starting with today’s contest. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. Cause we’re adding a little something to the Powell’s shopping experience. First prize is $1,000 in books. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is $100 in books. Third prize is you’re fired. Fuck you! That’s my name. You know why mister? Cause you purchased a cheapass Penguin paperback before getting here tonight. I purchased a rare limited hardcover edition with a misprint on the dust jacket. The books are weak, the books are weak. You’re weak. If you can’t write an essay with these books, hit the bricks pal and beat it! Cause you are going out! (via Chicha)