The British have announced that they no longer feel inferior to U.S. novelists. The sudden burst in UK hubris, however, had much to do with noted American novelist John Updike singling out UK minority writers — an option, according to the Guardian, apparently outside the purview of the typical Brit reader or the average Fleet Street hack.
Author / DrMabuse
Just Wait Until They See the Underlying Anti-Globalization Message in “Spider-Man 2”
Rasputin: “Moveon.org, I love you, but seriously, what is this shit? You’re handing out fliers, trying to get people to go see The Day After Tomorrow? Maybe you should reconsider?”
Confessions of an Idiosynchratic Domain
Sarah, the grand gal single-handedly responsible for getting me to read four Ian Rankin novels in the past month, has moved to a new domain. Go check it out. And to answer Ms. Roy’s concerns about blogs about underground streetcred, we mentioned “colostomy bag” before 8AM. Surely, this counts for something.
A User’s Guide to Recovering from Memorial Day Weekend
1. Above all, don’t panic. Going back to work isn’t as dreadful as it seems. Keep in mind that you essentially have a four-day workweek ahead of you. Your co-workers will be sympathetic to your readjustment. And if they aren’t, invent an imaginary newspaper article pointing out how holidays lead to temporary malaise extending into across the midweek swath into Wednesday. You can get away with this, because, quite frankly, nobody read the papers over the weekend.
2. Yes, there’s a ridiculous email backlog and there weren’t as many books finished as you had hoped. Yes, you may have even succombed to paying for that silly Roland Emmerich eco-disaster movie or perhaps engaged in the horrors of television. But the good news is that you can go back to your routine, such as it was. People in general will be slower, thanks in part to the overall lack of holidays in the United States of America, and the strange turn of fortune that momentarily granted the public a three-day weekend (that is, if they were lucky not to be working in the service sector).
3. When in doubt, resort to coffee. Its efficacy can never be underestimated. This woozy Tuesday isn’t unlike a hangover, what with your body drooping out of bed and your shirt being slightly more difficult to put on. But the good news is that if you didn’t drink last night and slept horribly, the coffee will have an even greater effect than before.
4. You can always relax again. Either tonight or next weekend. However, keep in mind that this time, it might be prudent to accomplish something, if only to make up for the debauchery.
5. Please know that it was perfectly fine for you to lounge about the living room while other people paid homage to the deaths of soldiers.
6. If you saw that eco-disaster movie, know that Dennis Quaid will eventually slip from your mind.
7. When in doubt, sexual release, whether solo or with another partner, is a pretty solid cure-all, particularly during lunch hour.
8. If you’re terrified by the idea of cooking tonight, keep in mind that there is probably a good deal of food in the fridge that you can reheat. Your overcompensatory zeal in the food department, together with such ubiquitous technology as the microwave oven, should get you through dinner tonight.
9. Set at least two goals that you must accomplish before bedtime. Make these modest goals. Things like balancing your checkbook or reading a Dr. Seuss book. You can save the loftier accomplishments (climbing Kilmanjaro on Wednesday, performing philanthropic CPR on a colostomy bag on Thursday) for later.
Questions for Plum Sykes
Your new novel, “Bergdorf Blondes,” have created some disgraceful and unintentionally hilarious Q&A sessions which demonstrate that you are a Tina Brown in the making.
I have a new disease, which I’ve called glitteratitis. I want Bret Easton Ellis to use me as an object in his next novel, preferably as a footstool.
As a writer for Vogue, you have ideas, right?
I’m too beautiful to be concerned about the human condition.
You’ve used “blonde” as a verb and every time you open your mouth, people have been actually lost brain cells listening to you.
You’ve got to keep the English language fun. Have you ever known an English teacher aware of this season’s fashion designs? I haven’t. Perhaps if these teachers paid attention to the way they dressed, English classes wouldn’t be so square.
How can you justify writing a book about these kinds of women with all that is going on the world?
After 9/11, I finally had the excuse I needed to open up my secret stash of candy. And I thought to myself that Jonathan Franzen needed to write a history of candy rather than these long novels about human behavior. He made my head hurt. Who really wants to pay attention to that sort of thing? This age is about comfort and self-entitlement. If you look at this lady with the cigarette in her mouth, she’s simply not in fashion. And besides, we have cheerier photos at Vogue.
What did you study at Oxford?
I wrote my thesis on the frizzy hair movement of the 1970s, drawing particular attention to the Farrah Fawcett feathering movement. It was well received.
P.T. Barnum once said, “Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public.” Would you say that you could apply this to being born in London?
How brilliant. Can you pick up lunch?