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Author / DrMabuse
“Dagger of the Mind” — Allegory for 2004 America
[For the purposes of this experiment, replace DR. ADAMS with THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION, KIRK with VOTER IN AMERICAN HEARTLAND, HELEN with AMERICAN INTEGRITY, and “Enterprise” with DETERMINATION TO TAKE BACK WASHINGTON.]
DR. ADAMS: “Now Captain Kirk is going to have a complete demonstration. I want there to be no doubts whatever in his mind.”
KIRK: “Mmmmm.”
DR. ADAMS: “You’re madly in love with Helen, Captain. You’d lie, cheat, steal for her, sacrifice your career, your reputation.”
HELEN: “No, Doctor! No!”
DR. ADAMS: “The pain — do you feel it, Captain? You must have her, or the pain grows worse, the pain, the longing for her.”
KIRK: “Helen.”
DR. ADAMS: “For years, you’ve loved her, Captain, for years.”
KIRK: “For years, I’ve loved you.”
DR. ADAMS: “You must continue to remember that, Captain. And now…she’s gone.”
[The mind machine is turned up to a dizzying level.]
KIRK: “Helen! Helen, don’t go! I need you, Helen!”
DR. ADAMS: “Now, Captain…you must take your phaser weapon and drop it to the floor. Captain, the pain increases unless you obey me.”
KIRK: “I…must…drop it.”
[KIRK drops phaser.]
DR. ADAMS: “Very good, Captain. Very good indeed. And now your communicator. Drop it to the floor.”
[KIRK desperately flips open communicator.]
KIRK: “Kirk to Enterprise.”
[The mind machine is amped up further.]
KIRK: “Uhhhhhhhhhh! Kirk…to…Enterprise. Ahhhhhhhh!”
HELEN: [shrieking] “No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
[KIRK laughs maniacally in pain/torture/confusion, as camera fades out to commercial break.]
And the Worst Thing is That He Can’t Stop Talking About the Fuckin’ Beatles
There’s a guy from Liverpool in our apartment at the moment whom we haven’t seen in six years. (Yeah, we’re just as mystified as you are.) Between this and the planned Memorial Day debauchery, what this means is few, if any, updates until June 1.
An Open Note to Maud Newton
In response to this:
Avoid the hoopla and the hate and be you. It’s almost Memorial Day Weekend and people all over the nation are freaking out. Probably some unspoken reaction to the fact that a madman is in office, the United States has been caught with its hands in the photographic cookie jar, and there appears no immediate remedy. Tough times, when you factor in the economy and the fact that more guns will be fired into other people tomorrow than any other day of the year. (Okay, that last statistic was a lie.)
But my point is this: everyone is entitled to freak out a little, including you. If that means stopping the blog for a little while, we’ll miss you, but so be it. It’s a fait accompli. We’re cool.
Writing a novel is one of the hardest things that anyone can do. But don’t stop. Keep trying. Your shit is good. Or are you convinced that there’s some nutty conspiracy here who loves you? We here at Return of the Reluctant have offered to give 24-7 cunnilingus to Kate Lee, if only she’d check out our wares. She’s declined. She doesn’t like our tongue action. But no worries. Whereas, on your end, no prob. In short, what else do we have to do to point out that you rock?
In response to (1), please stop the negativity. Your stuff is not drivel. Don’t listen to the angry folks. They’re jealous and have too much time on their hands.
In response to (2), did you know that Jonathan Lethem essentially strung together a bunch of stories for his early novel Amnesia Moon? Sounds cool what you’re doing. Part of a grand tradition. You’ve got to start somewhere. Plus, you’ve got to set goals. Glad you’re taking the bull by the horns.
In response to (3), good good and good. Do what you need to do. When it’s ready, it’s ready. Only three people have read my play so far. But you’ll eventually get to the point where it’s no longer love-hate, and it simply just is. Keep at it.
In response to (4), bloggers are fucking crazy. No one is asking anyone to offer in-depth interviews. Since we feel partially responsible, given our previous call for greater coverage, we should also point out Samuel Johnson’s grand maxim, “No one but a blockhead ever wrote, except for money.” We should also point out that we are blockheads. Fuck, we’d love to offer that kind of in-depth coverage, but we’re trying to pay the rent ourselves. And it sounds to me like you’re an expert in yourself. Probably more.
In response to (5), We’ve told you this several times privately, and now we’re going to tell you publicly: You don’t have to answer every email, especially ours. Human beings have limits!
In response to (6), if it’s not fun, don’t do it. Come back when you feel it’s fun.
And for all you other whipper-snappers, you leave Maud alone. Or we’ll personally subscribe you to every known mailing list pertaining to organized religion.
That is all.
The Short Answer: Consumption is Still Conspicuous
George Bleecher re-examines Thorstein Veblen’s The Theory of the Leisure Class, and looks at the similarities between the Gilded Age and today.