The 2004 Lyttle Lytton winners have been announced. The goal? To write the worst opening line in 25 words or less. The winner: “This is the story of your mom’s life.” (via MeFi)

I hope Messr. Teachout pardons my late notice. He is, after all, a man with an inveterate Red Bull addiction (now confirmed through the three investigators I have tailing him).

Average Number of Bloggers TT Has Lunch With Per Day: 2.1
Average Number of Words TT Writes Per Day: 7,500
Number of Books TT Will Publish in 2005: 5
Odds That Commentary Will Be Renamed The Teachout Times: 2 to 1.

And if that wasn’t enough, Mr. Teachout was on Kurt Andersen’s Studio 360 over the weekend. I listened to the show last night. Good stuff. Check it out.

Kingston University has nabbed more than 1,000 books that belonged to Iris Murdoch, along with notes, letters and original manuscripts. The books contain numerous marginalia, and should help future scholars tie in Murdoch’s philosophy with her novels.

If you’re an American army deserter heading for Canada, Heather Mallick has some helpful (and detailed) tips on how to settle down. Her advice even stems into the cultural: “Recycle like you mean it. Read Fire and Ice by pollster Michael Adams about how Canadians are growing ever more different from Americans. Then read Margaret Atwood and Doug Coupland, shop at Roots, stop in at Tim Hortons for a pile of Timbits on your way to your plumbing class. Arrive in a Prius or a Smart Car, which shouts, ‘I care about the environment,’ and you, short Buddhist, are a shoo-in for citizenship.”

John Barth, favored or disfavored, has remained one of my favorite writers. And the press he’s getting for The Book of Ten Nights and a Night is some of the best he’s had in years. The Houston Chronicle says that it’s as good as Lost in the Funhouse. And Lemony Snicket himself rips open a bag of pomo nuts in the Chronicle.