New Hampshire Predictions

Well, hell, if Oliver’s going to do it, then so am I. Here’s my New Hampshire prediction. And I’ll even throw up percentage points.

1. Kerry 30%
2. Dean 29%
3. Clark 16%
4. Edwards 13%
5. Lieberman 8%
6. Kucinich 2%
7. Sharpton 1%

[1/24/06 UPDATE: If anything, the propensity to offer wholly unsubstantiated predictions involving numbers strikes me as utterly foolish. Of what value does this serve? Does it feel better to stave off impatience and anxiety by fabricating numbers? Or is this sort an elaborate way of setting one’s self up for disappointment?]

Monday Morning Boiler Plate Blog Entry

We [drank too much]/[had too many personal fiascos]/[raped a small poodle] over the weekend. It was an experience that [left us intellectually lacking]/[has us pondering __________]/[pairing our argyles]. [Not that you would know anything about that]/[I’m sure you understand our pain]. Expect our return [next week]/[tomorrow]/[at some unspecified time]/[never], when we’ve [fully recovered]/[possessed of less self-loathing]/[prepared to eviscerate another Laura Miller column] and [visit some of the other fine folks on the [left]/[right]]/[get out of the house yourself]/[email us naked photos of yourself]. [Or not.]

Not that we’re [giving blood]/[holing up in a motel room with a .44 and a smile]/[raping another small poodle] ourselves.

Comfort Books

Terry and OGIC have fessed their comfort reading. I thought I’d add to the hue and cry, hoping that other swell folks would do the same. “Comfort reading” has been defined by our dynamic duo as anything that cools down an overheated mind. I’d stretch it a little further and define it as “anything that restores the mind back to its necessary default factory settings.” The following list is by no means a summation of my favorite writers, just the stuff that keeps me personally focused.

1. The Oz books — to restore imaginative settings.
2. Rex Stout — to restore careful balance between wiseass and logic.
3. James M. Cain — to cut the crap and get to the point.
4. Just about anything by Asimov, fiction or nonfiction (his history and science books worked wonders for me as a kid) — to describe things as clearly as possible.
5. Donald Westlake/Richard Stark — to get prose clean and subtextual.
6. Charles Dickens — to replenish color and description.
7. Terry Southern — to restore anti-establishment impulses and ballsiness.
8. John P. Marquand — to remind mind that satire comes in shades and can be accessible.
9. David Lodge — to encourage joie de vivre.
10. Ian McEwan — to respawn impulse to drown babies and revise brutally.