Teenagers let out a collective cry this morning as Justin Timberlake switched the release date of his autobiography, so as not to compete with Robbie Williams. Whether Mr. Timberlake promises confessions as grand as Rosseau or Cellini, I am not to judge. My own uneducated opinion on the matter is that, if I had to choose, Williams might be the better bet here. At least he can hold his water.
Year / 2004
Leave It to the French to Spoil Unexpectedly Enhance the Fun
The Independent reports that perhaps the most important intellectual battle of our time is being waged in Le Monde: Is Harry Potter a capitalist neo-liberal sellout? Or is he against globalization? Who knew that J.K. Rowling was a grand seer in the tradition of L. Frank Baum?
Next up: Is Spongebob Squarepants a Marxist or a Trotskist? Do the Teletubbies represent a failed 1970s commune more effectively than T.C. Boyle’s Drop City?
(And in a somewhat related matter, Rowling’s fessed that she pulled her character names from phone books.)
Look Out, Plum Sykes and Nanny Diaries Chicks
Sylvia van Bell has published her first book. She has demanded a professional masseuse and personal trainer, hair and makeup throughout the book tour, and 215 bottles of Evian in every hotel room.
She’s nine years old.
Shakur Replaces Shakespeare
Tupac Shakur has officially replaced Shakespeare in Worchester, MA. Frances Arena made the swap because it’s “popular with the kids.” While this concerns us, we don’t think this is the sign of the apocalypse. That will happen when learning how to construct a cherry bomb replaces a week of chemistry.
Teachout’s Got Competition in the Workhorse Dept.
Scott Bakker finished The Warrior Prophet, the second book in the Prince of Nothing trilogy, in a year. But not without defending the outline for his PhD dissertation, teaching pop culture and composition, and planning a wedding. He took one day off, but that was to see The Lord of the Rings.
Clearly, we need to finish up our three volume, 6,000 page biography on little-known Ashcan artist George Spackle, defending Mr. Spackle’s legacy and with a sizable portion pointing out the influence of He Came Home Depressed With A Sliced Banana in the Corner of His Mouth on contemporary comics, by the end of the year.