Shorthand Revealed

Pete points out that the litblogs have retained inveterate acronyms for literary folks. I couldn’t agree more with his concerns, particularly when these acronyms often refer to multiple people. In an effort to address this growing concern, here’s a short but by no means comprehensive list:

AL: An author who wins too many awards.

DFW: Any author who has read too much Nabokov. Alternatively loved or hated by the litblog community, depending upon how personally they take footnotes.

E—–: He who shall not be named.

Hitch: Any Fleet Street blowhard who drinks and smokes too much.

Hot Lips: Sam Lipsyte, the somewhat sctaological though entertaining author of Home Land. Earned nickname after repeated brown-nosing by the Believer and Gawker people. Often kisses and tells.

J-Franz: An obscure French author who sometimes finds his way onto book covers. A master of disguise, appearing as either ultimate dork or A-1 hunk. Therapy financed by David Remnick.

JSF: Not specifically pertaining to Jonathan Safran Foer, but any overeager author who sends hundreds of emails to a journalist.

Mary-Rob: A writer who can’t stop writing in epistolary form.

Mitch: Not David Mitchell, but any deity worshipped by literary fanboys.

Roth, David Lee: Any older writer held in critical esteem who can’t stop writing about penises.

Woodman: A filmmaker in decline who enjoys women one sixth his age.

© 2005, DrMabuse. All rights reserved.

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Rake
2025 years ago

Might I also propose author “J-Leth,” geek-chic writer who can (and indeed MUST!) relate any human transaction to his record collection, usu. by playing “Six Degrees of Brian Eno.”

amcorrea
2025 years ago

Pure genius.

Scott
2025 years ago

Here’s one:

D. Peck–any writer who could not garner acclaim through his/her novels and found substitute adulation after becoming the hatchet person for a “scummy little books section”