Coppola deserves a date with Monsieur Guillotine for making a teen coming-of-age movie romanticising the bitch. Also, for putting her fucking cousin Jason Schwartzman in it. “Let them eat Coppola!” I can hear her cackling to her casting director.

Okay, I guess without a crew of bloodthirsty Jacobins to dance the carmagnole with as we drag her to the Place de la Revolution, I’ll just continue to avoid Tosca at all costs.