This puts things well into perspective.

This may be the last Wrestling an Alligator post on this blog, before all such play-related info shifts onto the play-related site. But if you’re interested in auditioning, here’s the ad currently making the Bay Area theatre rounds. Get back to me if you’re interested.

We’re looking for a few good actors.

Stubble Magic is proud to announce that it is casting for an exciting theatrical production for the San Francisco Fringe Festival. The play, a debut effort written and directed by Edward Champion, is farcical in nature. It concerns a business meeting between a ruthless middle-management man and a principled businesswoman. The play is sixty rollicking minutes without a single scene change. We have unexpected plot twists, legal maneuvering, wordplay, oblique references to geopolitical conditions and celebrated literary figures, bizarre psychiatric tests, and even a flickering fluorescent light. While we hope to maintain a fun and fruitful atmosphere that is creatively stimulating and sexy on some modest level, rest assured that you will be challenged.

Auditions are scheduled for July 17 and July 18, 2004 at Shotwell Studios, located at 3252 19th Street, contrary to another misspelled ad making the rounds.

While these auditions are open, it is recommended that you contact us for an appointment slot, as we will be prioritizing appointment-based auditions.

The roles are as follows:

THE BUSINESSMAN: Male, 30-40, hot-tempered and Machiavellian middle-management type, though somewhat dim.

JENKINS: Female, 25-35, assistant to THE BUSINESSMAN. Constantly mishears and misassociates, though secretly in control of her boss’s affairs. Role requires strong comic timing and physical comedy.

TARROW: Female, 35-45, solid businesswoman, professional and grounded, independent, provider. The “white knight” of the play. Subtlety in perceiving surroundings a plus.

THE TEMP: Male, 20-25. Lazy, relentlessly dreamy, though not without hidden agenda. Some physical comedy required.

To schedule an appointment, please contact Edward Champion by email at ed@edrants.com. Please specify which part(s) you’re interested in and what time frames are good for you for an appointment. We will contact you with an audition time and answer any additional questions you might have.

We’re asking all actors to prepare a one-minute monologue and cold read.

Please note that this is a non-AEA production.

If you would like to read an excerpt, then please feel free to visit our site: http://www.wrestlingplay.com.

We are somewhat flexible to your schedule. However, we will require a pretty vigorous commitment through August. Rehearsals will occur in San Francisco during weeknights and some weekends, with the level of involvement escalating near the end of August and the beginning of September. Show dates are the weekends of September 10 and the 17th. There are four shows in all. We will also need you to be available during Labor Day Weekend.

Again, if you have any further questions, we encourage you to contact us. As you may have gathered while reading this, we can be pretty thorough with our answers.

Like, there’s this interview with Chuck Palahniuk, published on, what was it?

“July 7, 2004.”

Thank you, man. If it wasn’t for my steady consciousness, I’d have to look it up on the Internet.

“You were looking it up on the Internet.”

Whatever, man. You’re a fucking genius.

“Yeah, I received rejections from The Stranger in Seattle. Way back.”

Here we go. Oh, OK, I remember that.

“OK.”

OK.

“OK.”

That’s probably why we couldn’t remember.

“What were we talking about?”

I’m like, the next Birnbaum, dude.

“No, Sarvas is.”

Cool.

As Mark notes, Kevin needs a guest blogger. And, if truth be told, we will too for extended periods of down time through the summer. We’ve tried to convince Jimmy Beck, but he’s hopelessly devoted to the Hag. And we can respect that. All other aspirants, please don’t hesitate to drop either Kevin or I a buzz.

[UPDATE: Sarah needs one around August too.]

A £250,000 book, one of many pillaged from archeological sites in Iraq, is now safe at Scotland Yard. The book was one of hundreds swiped from the Awqaf library in 1995, and proved to be the most valuable of the bunch.