Utilizing groundbreaking iTechnology, you too can get in touch with your inner narcissist with technological options that you don’t really need. The iDildo is now available in several sizes, wherever iProducts are sold! The iDildo comes with several adjustable settings: Slow and Bored (an ideal mode for chronic time wasters), Medium Rare, and Fast and Frenetic. Optional audio settings provide you with an experience that you will never forget, better than a Sybian. Our EULA will ensure that the only orgasms you are legally entitled to experience are those effected by the iDildo, which have been perfected in our iLabs after our boys went through $200 million in R&D money. (Should you snag a lover in defiance of our terms, our attorneys will prosecute.)
We control the horizontal. And it’s all for your benefit!
Order a first-generation iDildo today for only $799! Don’t worry. We’ll work out the kinks in the next eighteen months, where the iDildo will plummet a mere $75 in price.
The Call by Yannick Murphy: The always interesting author of Here They Come and Signed, Mata Hari returns with a novel that whips up a worldview from a rather quirky set of limitations: namely, the call logs that a veterinarian maintains as his son is unexpectedly put into a coma and an unforgiving economy denies him work. What emerges is a surprisingly optimistic, often funny, and very moving account on how one family uses acceptance and forgiveness as a way to atone for hard knocks. (
Birds of Paradise by Diana Abu-Jaber: Forget Franzen and Eugenides. If you're looking for a social novel that counts, Diana Abu-Jaber is the author you're looking for. Building from the free-form exploration of consciousness and identity in Crescent and the gripping procedural structure of Origin, Abu-Jaber's latest novel is her finest, equally fluent with gutterpunk culture and smarmy real estate men. It has been suggested by The Washington Post's Ron Charles that you will likely gain some pounds while reading this novel. This is certainly true. Abu-Jaber's description of food is so precise that it often made me want to do more cooking. But I very much admired the way in which Abu-Jaber presents all her characters as unwitting victims of rough capitalism, which permits them some dignity even as they perform terrible acts.
The Last of the Live Nude Girls by Sheila McClear: This memoir isn't so much about the decline of the Times Square peepshow, as it is about one young woman's efforts to pull herself up by by her bootstraps when presented with few economic options. Filled with self-introspective candor and a quiet dignity, McClear's story is one that might befall any of us in these volatile times. While McClear does get back on her feet, her book leads one contemplating the terrible fates of other young women now moving to New York and falling into deadlier vocations. (
http://www.new.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30265031&l=e9977&id=1069452528
Used that model Steve’s holding to create my iDildo, take a look at the link.