A Message from Bill the Chimp: Media Operations That Are Too Smart for Me

The following media operations have regularly helped distribute articles and meaningful information that are too intelligent for me or you to comprehend:

– The New Yorker Magazine
– Harper’s
– The Atlantic Monthly
– The Nation
– Review of Contemporary Fiction
– Anyone who disagrees with my basic position

These are the worst offenders. In the months to come, we (meaning…well, me) expect to add more evil names to the list. We recommend that you use more drugs, park your asses in front of the television, raise your families in squalid poverty and vote Republican. These operations may actually cause you to think. It is dishonest to expect the American public to attend school, read thoughtful magazines , form opinions of their own volition or question the establishment in any way.

P.S. Shut up!

P.P.S. Yes, shut up!