Catty Observation #482

Have you ever noticed, when an elevator is occupied by one person and the doors haven’t yet closed and you are running to get the elevator before the doors close so that you will not be late, how the elevator occupant stands near the back of the elevator, as if to suggest, “Well, I wasn’t close enough to the panel to hit the DOOR OPEN button,” should you run into this person later? 

In short, this type of elevator occupant clearly wants the elevator to himself.  But what’s funny is when you somehow manage to get inside the elevator by way of tripping up the sensors and you give the elevator occupant a smile and a how’d’ya’do, and the elevator occupant is momentarily ashamed by his rudeness, which you are now both aware of.  There’s no apology or anything.  Just stunned silence. Of course, the elevator occupant practices the same rude behavior the next time you see him.

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  1. best practice: when you’re the person in the elevator, emphatically bang on the “door close” and wave the person on (as if you’re hitting “door open”. If the don’t make it, they’ll think you tried your best, and if they do – they’ll think you’re some kind of elevator superhero even though you’re an asshole. Odds are they will slow up thinking you got their back, only to be left waiting for the next car.

    as you were.

  2. Here’s what I do: when I see a person coming for the elevator, and I am the only person on it, I hold the door open button for them, but then when they get on I stand a little too close and don’t select a floor for myself, telling them, “Oh, I’ll just get off where ever.”

    If I am trying to make and elevator, and people are holding it, I walk slowly, waiting until I get right to the door, then wave it off, saying, “Just go. Just go.” And then sigh angrily. Then I dash up to the next floor and wait for the door to open and say, “I said ‘Go!'”

  3. In defense of all those who have hit the red alarm button instead of the open door button, I would humbly suggest that for some inaction is grounded in fear of loud noises. I can also the defend the actions of people with short arms, too.

    And yeah, I did this anti-social thing this morning. I felt bad for a good half second.

  4. If I see someone who appears questionable (aka creepy), and if that someone is running to the elevator as the doors are closing, I give that person the “Oh shit, I’m pressing the [} “door open” button because I so much want you to get in here with me” look, and then I frantically reach my left arm out, like I’m trying to stop the doors from closing. But, what I’m really doing this entire time is pressing the [>

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