August 16, 2008 by Edward Champion Flapjack Flapjack Flapjack Flapjack Flapjack Flapjack Pancake, Et Al. Uncategorized 5 Comments Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Email Print Tumblr Reddit
Every day i visit your site five, six, seven times.
I enjoy looking at the youtube clips and clicking your links.
Sometimes I leave comments under fake names. I would say that over the last two years i have left anywhere from 35 to 50 comments, and not one of those times have you responded to my comments, which makes me wonder whether you are a very busy man who doesn’t have the time to visit his own site, or, you’re an incredibly lonely man who loathes communicating with the very people he wants to talk to.
Maybe I remind you of how much you hate everyone, or maybe you don’t like the sound of my voice. Maybe it was your site I left the stoned comment at, about how some thing Tannenhaus said reminded me of how badly I wanted to have sex with my wife’s niece again. I don’t know if that was this place, or someplace else, but its true. I do. You should see my wife’s niece. Her name is Kelly. She’s 20 years old, 5’1, long blonde hair, bubble but with just the right amount of give. I had sex with her. It was incredible. The best sex I’ve ever had.
But that’s not the point. The point is that I want to get to know you, the real you. What frightens you. That kind of thing. But it’s fine if you don’t want to get to know me. It’s fine if the whole point of me coming here is for me to know who you are and not the other way around. All I’m saying is that you have to embrace this new form of communication and extend it past its perceived possibilities. That’s the beauty of development. Tearing down shit, melting the monumental. That’s the American way. That’s the way of the future. That’s what it means to be modern. Be the modern man that you are. That’s all I’m trying to say.
Well, if this comment is intended as a satire of my own tone, it partially works. If it is intended as sincere, email me. I respond to all emails. Comments are a more complicated matter. (See, there’s your response.)
And, by the way, thanks for the reminder on Kenneth Goldsmith.
Assuming that your comment is in some sense genuine: Yes, I’m a busy man who tries his best to participate on his own site, among other things. But aside from this blog, I’m running a podcast, writing essays, freelancing, trying to collect checks to pay the rent, trying now to save the goddam podcast, writing fiction, et al. But email works best for me when it comes to communicating with readers for reasons I won’t go into, and I do answer just about every one. I don’t loathe people, although I can also be introverted and not particularly social for days. And like anyone, I do choose how much time I devote to any particular area of my life.
A cameo appearance from The Outer Life…