if i had a livejournal 4.12.06

it rained today the same way it did yesterday and the same way it did before that motherfucking rain what the hell is going on? what did i do to deserve this? can the sun come out and remind us we’re human? it rained 26 days in march, 26 days as if this town was some surrogate seattle and i’ve been trying to remain positive but it’s been 26 days and i hate umbrellas and the spokes that hit you in the forehead they are like those wretched cadillac boats that hover between two lanes when you drive so i’m left getting drenched hoping that the rain won’t come down but still the rain comes and i’ve had just about enough and i suppose that this, conjoined with the lack of sleep, is why i’ve been so bitchy surprised i’m not sick

all rain and no sun makes ed a mad boy
all rain and no sun makes ed a mad boy

better to be a mad boy (at 31, natch!) than a madman but i think one of those cluetrain people have cornered the market on indignant online identities i don’t know, that was so long ago in web 1.0

so anyway i am now ably fixated on this rain and three weather sources that i have checked tell me that it will rain through the whole of the week and that we won’t see the sun unless we’re lucky on monday i must have done something bad to deserve this this is a republican scheme, yes, with the global warming i must have done something bad but is this the correct way to punish me for my existential faults (many)? it would be nice not to have to go to bed alone and hear the rain patter mercilessly against the windows perhaps this is why i have insomnia why i’m a bit sad right now

what happens when you’re cooped up inside is that you don’t sleep and you force yourself to do something productive like making podcasts and burning yourself out and composing bullshit blog entries like this i wonder if there are any foolproof studies which conclude that rain is a telltale indicator of one’s mental health and well-being i’m more neurotic than usual

it continues to rain outside and often muni buses do not come thus quelling my natural enthusiasm for public transportation a grand shame i like being excited about subways

people are normally quite jocose in this town, but lately they have been miserable even the bartender the other night who i tipped generously told me, “here’s your fucking change” either he knows me or i did something bad to him or he’s miserable like the rest of us

i think i don’t like the rain because san francisco is such a beautiful town why i’ve lived here so long but when the rain comes it sticks to the streets and traps you between buildings it turns everything into horrible grime and nobody wants to go outside and pick up the litter because they will come back soaking you can walk outside for five minutes and your socks will feel damp and even my extremely buzzed down hair will feel like damp silky strands as if i’m not balding at all!

we californians complain about the rain because we’re spoiled by sunshine all the time snow is exotic when it is very cold like in other places in the states we are even more miserable but this rain is recurrent forcing us to remain recumbent nice for couples but pretty lousy after 26 (26!) rainy days single

i was doing perfectly alright being alone quite happy and occupied until this rain came and killed my instincts to go out and observe people and meet friends and otherwise inhabit this great city of ours

and yet there is still a roof over my head there’s plenty of media to consume and think about there’s plenty of work to be done but the rain causes me to rethink much of this and i don’t like snapping like a turtle at people and perhaps it’s not the rain at all but a general state of exhaustion that i’ve been in denial about for the past four weeks

i am a fool thank you rain for limning this


  1. You should get a LiveJournal – then you can read mine! We can both angst together about the weather and the injustice of littering. It even has a spell check.

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