im going to jfk to fly to france now

instructions for cooking avocado scrambled eggs

Delicious and easy breakfast: slice a soft avocado in half and remove the peel from the seedless half. (Put the other half in a plastic bag and store it in the refrigerator.) Put some olive oil in a frying pan and set the avocado-half, empty side up, in the pan. Crack an egg and pour the egg onto the avocado, containing as much egg as possible, particularly the yolk, in the avocado’s seed cavity. Turn the burner on. As the frying pan heats up, mash the avocado (and the egg in/on/around it) into a paste with a fork. Treat the resulting egg-avocado paste as you would regular scrambled eggs, sliding it around and so forth with a spatula.

When the avocado scrambled eggs have a delicate golden brown crust, turn the burner off. Lightly salt the avocado scrambled eggs. Sample a forkful; they should be crispy on the outside but soft, rich, and creamy within. It is best to eat them directly from the pan, while they are still hot.


  1. Holy hot damn. That never even occurred to me. I’m doing this tomorrow morning. In France, actually.

  2. instructions for eating cold boiled potato

    One cold boiled potato, peeled if desired
    Salt shaker

    Stand in front of kitchen sink. Assume the expression of a cow watching a passing train. With it, stare absently out the window. Grip potato in one hand. Grip salt shaker in the other. Sprinkle salt on potato.

    Eat salted potato.

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