Everything that’s wrong with author appearances: “Those purchasing books will be given a number, and the signing will follow in numerical sequence.” Not mentioned: Those who get there at 6 a.m. will be automatically entered into a drawing to personally wipe Charles Frazier’s bottom.
Rawson Marshall Thurber knew he was the one to direct Michael Chabon’s The Mysteries of Pittsburgh. The signs came as Thurber stared at himself long and hard in the mirror for seven hours, admiring just how goddam special Thurber was. He would have settled for five, had not Thurbert caught the glimmer of his own irresistible smile staring back at him. Thus, he required two more hours of solipsistic worship. Thurber clearly knew he was a genius. He also knew that Chabon was a genius, although it was quite clear to Thurber that he was the greater genius of the two. So he called Chabon and informed him that they were both geniuses. Chabon, in a particularly low mood, responded favorably to this plaudit and quickly signed away the film rights. And now Thurber stares long and hard again into the mirror when he isn’t directing, when he isn’t writing, when he isn’t existing. Rawson Marshall Thurber: if only we could all be like him.
Chef Alain Roby has set a new record for the largest chocolate skyscraper. Unfortunately, current dessert zoning laws in New York have forced the building that Roby labored many long hours for to be prematurely demolished, to make way for Chef Robert Moses III’s grand boulevard of chocolate syrup.