“I’m going to kidnap him. I’m going to kidnap the President of the United States.”
Alas, how far Mr. Cage has fallen.
Most Unintentionally Hilarious Trailer of the Year
– September 8, 2007Posted in: Film
Books To Jump Up and Down Over
The Call by Yannick Murphy: The always interesting author of Here They Come and Signed, Mata Hari returns with a novel that whips up a worldview from a rather quirky set of limitations: namely, the call logs that a veterinarian maintains as his son is unexpectedly put into a coma and an unforgiving economy denies him work. What emerges is a surprisingly optimistic, often funny, and very moving account on how one family uses acceptance and forgiveness as a way to atone for hard knocks. (Bat Segundo interview with Murphy)
Birds of Paradise by Diana Abu-Jaber: Forget Franzen and Eugenides. If you're looking for a social novel that counts, Diana Abu-Jaber is the author you're looking for. Building from the free-form exploration of consciousness and identity in Crescent and the gripping procedural structure of Origin, Abu-Jaber's latest novel is her finest, equally fluent with gutterpunk culture and smarmy real estate men. It has been suggested by The Washington Post's Ron Charles that you will likely gain some pounds while reading this novel. This is certainly true. Abu-Jaber's description of food is so precise that it often made me want to do more cooking. But I very much admired the way in which Abu-Jaber presents all her characters as unwitting victims of rough capitalism, which permits them some dignity even as they perform terrible acts.
The Last of the Live Nude Girls by Sheila McClear: This memoir isn't so much about the decline of the Times Square peepshow, as it is about one young woman's efforts to pull herself up by by her bootstraps when presented with few economic options. Filled with self-introspective candor and a quiet dignity, McClear's story is one that might befall any of us in these volatile times. While McClear does get back on her feet, her book leads one contemplating the terrible fates of other young women now moving to New York and falling into deadlier vocations. (Bat Segundo interview with McClear)
Rest of the dialogue.
“I’m going to kidnap him. I’m going to kidnap the President of the United States.”
“Two words: President Cheney.”
“Er… Let me think on it some more. What if we kidnap the vice-president.”
“You’d be a hero, sir. You would get the medal of freedom. They would sing your praises in the streets of Baghdad. Dan Quayle would come out of retirement to restore harmlessness to the office of vice president. But there is a downside.”
“Bush would still be president?”
“No. But do you own any Halliburton stock?”
“No.”
“I do. Wouldn’t it be easier if we just made an appointment?”
Not even the Library of Congress is safe from bad special effects.
I’d usually say it’s unfair and simplistic to blame a single person for all the movies like this, but really, truly, this is all Dan Brown’s fault.