Pitchforks in the Blue

This band is laughably godawful. But don’t tell to now banned MeFi user RustyBottoms, who offered a front page post championing the band in question, which, uh, he happens to play in. Of course, this being a self-link, and for a lousy band to boot, he predictably faced the wrath and ridicule of the Mefites. The train wreck is here, complete with an animated GIF involving a penis and a chicken, for those now waiting in airports for their BEA flights. As for “Pretty Flowers,” you haven’t heard mediocre until you’ve listened to “Riot.”

One Comment

  1. You guys are such dumb asses.

    One of our band members did a stupid thing, (mind you, no one else in the band knew about, and, thus, had any control over.) and you nuts go crazy. I mean, you are pissed off, I get it, it was lame, whatever… Rusty thought it was a good idea at the time, but the reaction to his stupid little prank was so plentiful and so desperate that it made me wonder if anyone in this country worked anymore. The amount of time and effort you guys put into beating up on Pretty Flowers was amazing. It almost made me feel special. So many people are interested in trashing us that it makes me want to say, “there is no such thing as negative publicity.” It’s almost like all of this was staged and your reaction to the Pretty Flowers incident was just what the PR executives anticipated. I mean so many people across the country know our name now. All right, they hate us, but at least they are not indifferent to us. Right? We are the talk of the town. And why?

    I mean it’s just a stupid little band doing little stupid shit. Why should you care? Beats me.

    The worst part is though, that you spent so much time being mad, that you didn’t really bother to check out our music before writing negative reviews all over the place. And, to be sure, even if some of you liked it, they would never admit it. I know that your reaction was biased and unnatural because I studied economics and statistics and I know the probability of us getting a negative reaction from all members of any audience (that includes nursing home patients, Mexican farmers, Russian rocket scientists, etc.) is so unlikely that, mathematically, it equals zero (yeah go ahead and challenge me on this, geeks). This also means that I know how many of you, statistically, would have a favorable or unfavorable reaction to us. And yet, your audience gave us nothing but negative reviews, which means that a lot of your guys are full of shit. My dearest geeks, I went to grad school studying technology, and I know that you understand the principles of probability. You yourselves know that you are full of shit.

    I mean we are such immoral assholes, that our music can’t possibly be good, right? Wrong. We are a young band and some of our media is in the worst state possible. That god-awful Riot song that you so orgasmically trashed in your blog, for example, was recorded in our drummer’s apartment over the course of 2 weekends. And if any of you know anything about music and recording, you will understand the implications of such enterprise and will choose to shut up, rather than making comments on something you barely experienced (or not at all).

    Did you listen to other songs? Did you even consider the band outside it’s scandalous reputation in the blog world? I mean, if you hate us for what we did (or rather what Rusty did, without our knowledge) comment on our behavior, don’t comment on our music. There’s no way in the world that your opinion will be un-biased, un-spiteful, or even informed.

    You don’t like us, so write “Pretty Flowers are a bunch of loosers and cheats” in giant letters and post them everywhere you can. In fact, you can even write “Yelena is a dirty filthy whore, ” I really wouldn’t mind, in fact I would find it fund it funny, but for fuck’s sake, leave the music alone. Or better yet, get a fucking life and stop wasting your time on us… Flattered as we are, we truly believe that your talents, knowledge and computer savvy will be so much better utilized elsewhere`…


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