1,180 Comments

  1. Looking for love
    in all the wrong places
    looking for love
    in too many faces

    forest

    Strolled into a clearing
    discarded paint cans abound
    acetone fumes wafting merrily
    heaven awaits inside Krylon

    inhale

    Huffing into paradise
    rainbow colors twirling
    swimming with tadpoles
    chemical induced insanity

    in Ohio

  2. Breaking into your car
    stealing everything
    rugs, cups, lighters
    even stupid maps

    Pawn

    Shop owner calls cops
    doesn’t sell narcotics
    Police beat us outside
    government assistance sucks

    in Ohio

  3. Walmart auto parts in Akron
    core charge for a stolen battery
    dump the old one on the counter
    leaking acid like drops of fun

    Sizzling

    Manager starts yelling
    black acid starts flying
    battery goes into the toilet
    run like hell out the back

    in Ohio

  4. Driving through Youngstown
    shooting from the car
    blasting old storefronts
    with demented glee

    giggling

    Weaving wildly through traffic
    driving across sidewalks for fun
    Police nowhere to be seen
    paychecks didn’t come today

    reloading

    doing donuts in the driveway
    of a local tattoo parlor
    gonna get a big inky knife
    shoved directly into my brain

    in Ohio

  5. In the woods
    found a pipe
    wide enough
    time to move it

    Slime

    Living in a storm drain
    smells like lime jello
    overflowing sewage
    floats past our raft

    Police

    Hunting us above ground
    can’t find the tunnel gate
    hiding in Mount Airy Forest
    spending our lives entombed

    in Ohio

  6. Abandoned house
    near Hillsboro
    filthy stinking hovel
    swarming with bugs and rats

    realtor

    Knocking on door for auction
    bidding on worthless garbage
    entire frame soaked in black mold
    give ya five bucks for the doorknobs

    purchase

    Now owned by biker gang
    exciting fun filled family weekend
    entire structure engulfed in flames
    burns completely to the rotten ground

    in Ohio

  7. Running through a cornfield
    maniacs chase you with knives
    screaming for help from God
    no one comes to your aid

    tumble

    Fell to the ground in gibbering fear
    crowd of tweaking psychos descend
    long time local residents rip you to shreds
    hopefully CSI will find your wallet

    in Ohio

  8. Cruising through the state
    happy town of Zanesville
    low fuel light illuminated
    time to stop for a rest

    station

    Entering the establishment
    mutant freaks litter the joint
    raving mad dwarves from hell
    just need some gas, kind townies

    munching

    Drooling loon asks for a handout
    bought a burrito before leaving
    run for the car tossing change
    hope to see another dawn

    accelerate

    Floored the pedal to the metal
    screaming villagers in pursuit
    Frankenstein torches waving
    den of iniquity fades behind

    in Ohio

  9. Need a few extra bucks for fun
    used platinum always profitable
    random air conditioner nearby
    hand me the hacksaw, please

    cutting

    Breaking into storage
    gutting the heat pump
    shiny tubes ripped out
    off to the junkyard now

    haggling

    sold for nickels on the dollar
    bloody knees, hands and face
    ripped off a church for nothing
    typical behavior for human waste

    in Ohio

  10. Public laundromat
    washing oily rags
    with ammonia & bleach
    simultaneously

    fumes

    Dumping rusty nails
    into the dryers
    polish with tumbling
    before a baby’s blanket

    shredded

    Other customers loitering
    hopelessly drunken morons
    drooling into their booze
    cell phones blasting TMZ

    ignition

    Gasoline vapors catch fire
    industrial dryers all explode
    fireball blasts out windows
    time to run back to the motel

    in Ohio

  11. Interstate 70 at night
    interesting sights
    long dull drive
    rest stop

    horror

    Inbred townies using bathroom
    grotesque deformed mutant freaks
    trail of defecation leads out the door
    brown stained trails of local wildlife

    vomit in disgust

    Soiled shower shoes in trash can
    paper towels everywhere on floor
    fat waddling hunchback hobbles away
    perhaps Columbus Zoo still open at this late hour

    in Ohio

  12. Local trailer park
    convenience store
    three in the morning
    here we go, kiddies

    giggle

    Entering the establishment
    rotten stench of burned cheese
    slowly cooking stuffed corn dogs
    turning on filthy rollers of scum

    looking

    Winos in beer cooler
    drinking malt liquor
    urinating excessively
    into piles of recycled cardboard

    buying

    Purchasing sports beverage
    and five hour energy drink
    assists the drive to freedom
    until the gas tank runs out

    parking lot

    Smashed blood red wine bottles abound
    addicts knifing each other for a quarter
    truck completely engulfed in flames
    time to relocate to another hamlet

    in Ohio

  13. Colorful local character
    doodling down the street
    looking for a happy handout
    lunch will soon be a treat

    toilet

    Commode in the corner
    chock full of poo and wee
    bummy the bumster starts to drink
    everyone else must flee

    flush

    Raw sewage erupts into his mouth
    guzzling waste down to the tummy
    gulp deep the pool of disgusting filth
    as we fun in terror from poor Bummy

    in Ohio

  14. Cleveland Browns home game
    returning from concession stand
    full trays of beers, dogs, and nuts
    nosebleed seats, upper level railing

    toss

    Ketchup, mustard, pretzels and Schlitz
    raining down onto the dummies below
    cascade of garbage, splattering tourists
    they rooting for the other team, anyway

    yelling

    Full scale riot in the concourse
    nobody knows who threw what
    fat stupid pigs punching each other
    time to skedaddle back to our box seats

    in Ohio

  15. Johnny Appleseed
    travelled to Ohio
    around 1830 ish
    spreading cheer

    trees

    Local village farmers
    ran him down like a dog
    chased him to the edge of town
    then stoned him to bloody death

    in Ohio

  16. Ohio chili cheese dog
    claims to be the best
    recent visit to factory
    tells the tale of woe

    ingredients

    Dirty stinking slaughterhouse
    killing cattle infected with plague
    grinding pus into beef by products
    for all your mock turtle soup needs

    production

    Rolling down the assembly line
    coming soon to your local store
    neat tidy boxes of garbage
    it’s Skyline chili time

    in Ohio

  17. Metropolitan Sewer District
    quality household repair
    promises plumbing fixed
    forced to pay taxes for this

    rain

    Basement filling up with waste
    rising quickly up the stairs
    liquid poo and wee all over
    gushing out of the windows

    call

    MSD operator too busy to care
    house totally covered in crap
    cleaners show up next month
    roll of paper towels oughta do it

    in Ohio

  18. Domino’s pizza place
    downtown Cleveland
    eating establishment
    outer suburbs of Hell

    inside

    Kitchen counter madness
    crazy eggbeater chasing you
    around the rusty crusty ovens
    cooking doughy piles of slime

    delivery

    Broken down Honda Civic
    taking sloppy food to slums
    almost murdered for minimum wage
    transfer to taco bell tomorrow

    in Ohio

  19. Let’s visit the landfill

    Mountains of garbage
    rotting stench from hell
    rats chewing through steel
    bodies buried under effluent

    scenic drive

    Mutant spiders erupt from debris
    chasing you across the field of filth
    giant insane screaming monsters
    tear you limb from limb for fun

    in Ohio

  20. Army recruiting station
    downtown Chillicothe
    exciting career awaits
    onward with our fun

    enter

    Abandoned strip mall storefront
    small fetid office near the end
    criminals and addicts begging
    sign up with America’s finest

    gather

    Excrement from society’s bottom
    lunatics and degenerates enlist
    perverts gloriously shipped off
    screaming like monkeys in tents

    from Ohio

  21. Waffle House

    (hee hee! this should be a good one)

    Four o’clock in the morning
    drinking binge has concluded
    time to acquire tasty munchums
    off to the House of Filth, kiddies

    enter

    Step over addict sleeping outside
    rats scurry through the open door
    comatose bums laying in booths
    find a corner not laden with scum

    menus

    Table is crusted with dried spit
    pieces of waffle linger everywhere
    roaches swarm across dark tile floor
    scattered, smothered, and covered, please

    cooking

    Grill is coated with burned paste
    chef is sweating into our patty melts
    sink piled to overflowing with plates
    bottle of ketchup goes good with this

    eating

    delicious western omelet with fries
    until we find hair and bugs inside
    excuse ourselves to the toilet
    now it really gets bad

    bathroom

    Vomit into the stopped up sink
    urinals overflowing with waste
    commodes stopped up since 1989
    quickly pay the check and let’s go

    in Ohio

  22. Prefabricated structure
    suddenly appears
    right next door
    to daycare

    fumes

    Kiddies notice
    noxious odors
    ammonia drifting
    interesting neighbors

    police

    Obvious meth lab
    shipment today
    cops are waiting
    high speed chase

    arrest

    Roadblocks nearby
    crashed into park sign
    handcuffs on television
    say, “I love you, mom”

    in Ohio

  23. Dollar Tree

    (giggling)

    Government assistance checks arrive
    dollar store shelves restocked today
    aisles of worthless junk from China
    unlock the front doors and let’s go

    stampede

    Bloated stinking cattle rush in
    pack of swine seeking subsistence
    grabbing anything their stupid mitts can
    hooves pounding mold into grimy carpet

    wreckage

    Human garbage destroying shelves
    urchins smashing plastic nonsense
    shopping carts full of fat and waste
    rush to the checkouts with EBT

    riot

    Fighting around junky sunglasses
    squealing over candy & balloons
    lines all the way to frozen foods
    Walmart was never this terrible

    in Ohio

  24. Dumpsters
    big steel ones
    like outside hotels
    falling from the sky

    hundreds

    Bang, bang, bang
    tumbling down the street
    dumpsters hitting the ground
    smashing everything they seek

    insanity

    Why are dumpsters falling
    this makes no sense
    we must stop this
    before Noon

    in Ohio

  25. Above ground pool
    abandoned home
    left to rot in sun
    The Green Slime

    horror

    Round plastic bucket
    mosquitoes swarm
    fetid swamp of hell
    solid pile of dung

    creatures

    Red eyes open
    arms swinging
    voices cackle
    housing market collapse caused this

    in Ohio

  26. Driving through Columbus
    heavy traffic downtown
    many cars stuck
    standing still

    pedestrian

    Escaped mental patient
    stark raving madman
    wandered into area
    construction site

    steamroller

    Here he comes
    driving fast
    oh my God
    HELP

    in Ohio

  27. Coronavirus has arrived
    finally on our shores
    contaminating town
    with deadly spores

    rumbling

    The Zombie Apocalypse
    is now occurring here
    bodies recently dead
    clawing through dirt

    running

    Homicidal walking corpses
    attacking all of the living
    eating every one of us
    alive and screaming

    in Ohio

    Hmmm, this one wasn’t so funny

  28. Someone threw a sledgehammer
    through your living room window
    with a string around the handle
    leading to a truck

    vroom

    The truck starts up
    starts to drive away
    string quickly follows
    hammer is hooked tight

    CRASH

    You house is ripped apart
    broken dreams of family fun
    all your hopes crushed like bugs
    and destroyed by a stupid poem

    in Ohio

  29. Greyhound Bus Station
    downtown Toledo
    four o’clock night
    let’s visit hell

    inside

    All doors locked but front
    shambling area crackheads
    pounding on smeared glass
    wide red eyes glaring inside

    waiting

    Bus doesn’t leave until dawn
    watching bags carefully
    hungry little traveler
    visits the snack bar

    cooking

    Sizzling burgers on filthy grill
    blackened pucks of scum
    slap some cheese on it
    twelve dollars for crap

    still waiting

    Bizarre locals dancing to no music
    security guard robbing passengers
    old bathrooms stink of sewage
    another ten hours to go

    bus arrives

    Maniacs dash wildly for doors
    desperate loons shoving
    boarding hot cattle car
    to another bus station

    in Ohio

  30. Coronavirus spreading
    coughing & sneezing
    not a good thing
    flu always bad

    mania

    TV news says world is ending
    suburban hicks run wild
    looting the gun store
    of anything shiny

    hoarding

    Mountains of sealed toilet paper
    automatic weapons galore
    no idea how to use them
    this will not end well

    fearing

    Girl scouts selling cookies
    knock innocently on door
    housewife begins blasting
    cannot hit barn’s broad side

    hiding

    Cowering under bed
    waiting for salvations
    AR-15 in shaking hand
    take some cough syrup

    Summer

    Back to the pools
    having more funny
    silly distant memory
    Coronavirus all gone

    in Ohio

  31. Midwest cornfields
    infected with virus
    stretch to infinity
    this looks so bad

    mutating

    Corn stalks start walking
    pulling themselves free
    surrounding your home
    smashing through glass

    screaming

    Crazy corn stalks chasing us
    running down the street
    setting them on fire
    time for popcorn

    in Ohio

  32. Beautiful community
    homes, trees, flowers
    wonderful peaceful life
    couldn’t ask for any better

    movers

    New neighbors move in
    scumbags from Arizona
    rotten stinking criminals
    now two seasons of hell

    describe

    Weeds growing in drive
    Harley parked on porch
    beer bottles left in yard
    rusted car left in street

    people

    Knives in pocket
    tattoos on neck
    scars on face
    time in jail

    business

    Distributing heroin to kiddies
    local detectives have idea
    speed trap for customers
    commerce dries up quickly

    movers, again

    U Haul in driveway
    wrecked rented house
    evicted six months later
    wave as they drive away

    in Ohio

  33. Friday Midnight Bonfire

    Circle of cars in woods
    kegs of beer in trunks
    radios blasting tunes
    off we go to heaven

    fuel

    Turpentine
    kerosene
    gasoline
    wood

    flares

    Abandoned car in field
    rusty doors wide open
    tires roar black smoke
    flames light the night

    cops

    Time to skedaddle home
    back down to the creek
    run through the jungle
    giggling all the way

    in Ohio

  34. Under the trees
    Happy dappy Bar-ba-loots
    Under the trees
    In our Bar-ba-loot suits
    Under the trees
    Eating Truffula fruits
    Oh, these succulent, mellifluous
    Deliciously delifluous
    Sweetly succulifluous
    Truffula fruits

    in Ohio

  35. Apartment complex near Dayton
    miserable grimy hovel of hate
    murders occur twice daily
    neighbor nuts with guns

    kitchen sink

    Trying to wash down suppers
    waste from slop swirls down
    peer into blackness below
    disposal not being nice

    insanity

    Giant mutant hand erupts from drain
    grabs your head and yanks down
    banging your skull into the sink
    not being kid friendly at all

    knife drawer

    Quickly grab electric carver
    flip on the switch for buzzy fun
    attack with a whirring bone saw
    blood splattered gleeful gore

    in Ohio

    (apologies to Stephen King)

  36. faaaaaaaaaaa – pah – TING smatts bee TOON a matta zatta boon…
    La?
    TOO!
    ha ha ha!
    slamma whamma tamma meeps teeps a BOON, lemme tell ya…

  37. The Mad Poet ON STRIKE until our website is updated.

    Hmph! All this work and only published once a month.

    Grrrr! No instant gratification… ๐Ÿ™

  38. Fluffy Easter Bunny
    hops into town for fun
    carrying painted eggs for all
    soon to discover waiting locals

    church parking

    Stupid drunken bums on meth
    loitering outside place of worship
    attack the cheerful Bunny with chains
    chasing him to the frayed edge of sanity

    vacant lot

    Thugs catch Bunny in the field
    beat him senseless for fun
    steal his candy and eggs
    kick him right in his big fat cotton butt

    in Ohio

    (Happy Easter)

  39. Factory Work

    (Hee hee! Welcome back!)

    Endless exhaustion of futility
    living on an assembly line
    putting trinkets together
    drudgery of living hell

    pounding

    Huge machine begins accelerating
    crushing steel ingots to pulp
    belching crimson flames
    loud demon screeching

    run

    Crazy giant device approaches
    factory doors are locked tight
    begin throwing paper towels
    methinks this won’t work

    window

    Machine bursts into parking lot
    after we jump from window
    National Guard arrives
    battle in the streets

    action

    Explosions, destruction, and mayhem
    guns, tanks, rockets versus hellfire
    machine blown to wittle bittles
    happy days for worker bees

    tomorrow

    Sun comes up
    factory all wrecked
    clean up the wretched mess
    welcome back to Ohio Sucks 426

    in Ohio

    (more apologies to Stephen King)

  40. Let’s visit the Zoo

    Here we are in Columbus
    happy day at the local Zoo
    wonderful wildlife on display
    sunny fun with frolicking pets

    cage door

    The tigers look like big fluffy kittens
    in our narcotics induced euphoria
    we want to pet the nice kitties
    let’s open the cage door, ya?

    roaring

    Sober tourists run like hell
    tigers hop out onto sidewalk
    begin slaughtering everyone
    teddy bears tossed like pulp

    response

    SWAT team arrives now
    begins blasting everyone
    tigers jump back into cage
    drug addicts eaten and shot

    in Ohio

  41. Steamroller club
    meets in Cleveland
    big steel drums of fun
    ready to roll down here

    rumbling

    Here they come
    Rold Gold pretzels
    they’re not rolled
    they’re not gold

    (happy little pretzels float past)

    anyway

    back to the steamrollers

    Let’s all meet downtown
    with our steamrollers
    look like stupid pimps
    all tricked out with crap

    intersection

    Steamrollers accelerate together
    big metal drums begin banging
    slam back and forth like buffalo
    red hot iron screaming together

    lunatics

    Everyone produces firearms
    begin blasting away with glee
    steamrollers grind into reverse
    and trundle away for a good rest

    in Ohio

  42. Pallets
    warehouses full of empty pallets
    factories all closed and moved away
    NAFTA killed our beloved home state

    pallets

    No goods to ship
    no steel to buy
    no coal to burn
    no corn to fry

    pallets

    Loading dock night watchman
    notices the pallets all whispering
    speaking in riddles about being betrayed
    overthrowing the human race (just in Dayton)

    replacements

    Plastic pallets from China
    soon will arrive by truck
    tons of stupid cheap junk
    old wooden pallets put out to pasture

    in Ohio

  43. Giant tugboat
    moored to the dock
    Public Landing gangway
    Cincinnati Riverfront area

    TOOT

    Tugboat wants to swim
    but tied to the docks
    stupid kids laughing
    and throwing rocks

    TOOT toot toot TOOT

    Tugboat goes insane
    breaks free from mooring
    drives up onto the landing
    begins grinding over tourists

    TOOOOOOOOOT TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOOOOT

    Crazy tugboat on the loose
    Police gunboats doing battle
    wind up near Anderson Ferry
    barges begin ramming cops

    TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT

    Tugboat gets away clean
    last seen heading for the dam
    Police boats scattered on the shore
    hopefully lock operators on lunch break

    in Ohio

  44. Amtrak station
    downtown Dayton
    very late near midnight
    waiting for the Cardinal

    station

    Dark empty wretched tomb
    patient lonely passengers
    expecting choo choo
    arriving here soon

    train

    Filthy metal tube rolls into station
    poor pitiful customers crowd on
    wanting to visit Baltimore Aunt
    should have taken Greyhound

    onward

    Train speeding along route
    darkness inside all cars
    addicts stumbling
    bums drinking

    problem

    Amtrak collides with pickup
    drags truck for miles
    track ripped apart
    stuck in Virginia

    bus

    Transfer to Greyhound anyway
    now moving along safely
    clean comfortable seats
    leave the driving to us

    in Ohio

  45. Columbus
    furniture warehouse
    factory outlet of charm
    warm sunny cloth covered joy

    enter

    We drive through the front doors
    crashing glass everywhere
    shoppers scatter like ants
    just looking for a credenza

    fuel

    Run quickly through the aisles
    splashing gasoline everywhere
    showroom floor ready to burn
    Memorial Day fireworks today

    ignition

    Shoppers have fled to safety
    entire building engulfed in flames
    bright orange inferno races skyward
    pass me the Ballpark hot dogs, please

    in Ohio

  46. Let’s SPIN, baby!

    SPIN!

    Here we go…

    Woooo-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    SPIN! SPIN, WE SAY! SPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Wooo-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

    Ha ha ha!

    in Ohio

  47. Factory Work

    (Hee hee! Welcome back!)

    Endless exhaustion of futility
    living on an assembly line
    putting trinkets together
    drudgery of living hell

    pounding

    Huge machine begins accelerating
    crushing steel ingots to pulp
    belching crimson flames
    loud demon screeching

    run

    Crazy giant device approaches
    factory doors are locked tight
    begin throwing paper towels
    methinks this won’t work

    window

    Machine bursts into parking lot
    after we jump from window
    National Guard arrives
    battle in the streets

    action

    Explosions, destruction, and mayhem
    guns, tanks, rockets versus hellfire
    machine blown to wittle bittles
    happy days for worker bees

    tomorrow

    Sun comes up
    factory all wrecked
    clean up the wretched mess
    welcome back to Ohio Sucks 426

    in Ohio

    (more apologies to Stephen King)

  48. Let’s visit the Zoo

    Here we are in Columbus
    happy day at the local Zoo
    wonderful wildlife on display
    sunny fun with frolicking pets

    cage door

    The tigers look like big fluffy kittens
    in our narcotics induced euphoria
    we want to pet the nice kitties
    let’s open the cage door, ya?

    roaring

    Sober tourists run like hell
    tigers hop out onto sidewalk
    begin slaughtering everyone
    teddy bears tossed like pulp

    response

    SWAT team arrives now
    begins blasting everyone
    tigers jump back into cage
    drug addicts eaten and shot

    in Ohio

  49. Steamroller club
    meets in Cleveland
    big steel drums of fun
    ready to roll down here

    rumbling

    Here they come
    Rold Gold pretzels
    they’re not rolled
    they’re not gold

    (happy little pretzels float past)

    anyway

    back to the steamrollers

    Let’s all meet downtown
    with our steamrollers
    look like stupid pimps
    all tricked out with crap

    intersection

    Steamrollers accelerate together
    big metal drums begin banging
    slam back and forth like buffalo
    red hot iron screaming together

    lunatics

    Everyone produces firearms
    begin blasting away with glee
    steamrollers grind into reverse
    and trundle away for a good rest

    in Ohio

  50. Pallets
    warehouses full of empty pallets
    factories all closed and moved away
    NAFTA killed our beloved home state

    pallets

    No goods to ship
    no steel to buy
    no coal to burn
    no corn to fry

    pallets

    Loading dock night watchman
    notices the pallets all whispering
    speaking in riddles about being betrayed
    overthrowing the human race (just in Dayton)

    replacements

    Plastic pallets from China
    soon will arrive by truck
    tons of stupid cheap junk
    old wooden pallets put out to pasture

    in Ohio

  51. Giant tugboat
    moored to the dock
    Public Landing gangway
    Cincinnati Riverfront area

    TOOT

    Tugboat wants to swim
    but tied to the docks
    stupid kids laughing
    and throwing rocks

    TOOT toot toot TOOT

    Tugboat goes insane
    breaks free from mooring
    drives up onto the landing
    begins grinding over tourists

    TOOOOOOOOOT TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOOOOT

    Crazy tugboat on the loose
    Police gunboats doing battle
    wind up near Anderson Ferry
    barges begin ramming cops

    TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT

    Tugboat gets away clean
    last seen heading for the dam
    Police boats scattered on the shore
    hopefully lock operators on lunch break

    in Ohio

  52. Amtrak station
    downtown Dayton
    very late near midnight
    waiting for the Cardinal

    station

    Dark empty wretched tomb
    patient lonely passengers
    expecting choo choo
    arriving here soon

    train

    Filthy metal tube rolls into station
    poor pitiful customers crowd on
    wanting to visit Baltimore Aunt
    should have taken Greyhound

    onward

    Train speeding along route
    darkness inside all cars
    addicts stumbling
    bums drinking

    problem

    Amtrak collides with pickup
    drags truck for miles
    track ripped apart
    stuck in Virginia

    bus

    Transfer to Greyhound anyway
    now moving along safely
    clean comfortable seats
    leave the driving to us

    in Ohio

  53. Columbus
    furniture warehouse
    factory outlet of charm
    warm sunny cloth covered joy

    enter

    We drive through the front doors
    crashing glass everywhere
    shoppers scatter like ants
    just looking for a credenza

    fuel

    Run quickly through the aisles
    splashing gasoline everywhere
    showroom floor ready to burn
    Memorial Day fireworks today

    ignition

    Shoppers have fled to safety
    entire building engulfed in flames
    bright orange inferno races skyward
    pass me the Ballpark hot dogs, please

    in Ohio

  54. The actual human beings on this forum are absolutely right. Ohio sucks big time! There is a lot of pollution, and that sewer smell almost everywhere you go. There is nothing to do here. The people here are dumb racist backstabbers that think their behavior is normal. It seems to attract backstabbing foreigners as well: Mexicans, Africans, Indians, etc. who are segregated and arrogant with their forms of retardation. Its like being in the south during the 1800s. The gay people there desperately flaunt themselves towards others that are not into that lifestyle. This shit hole will drain your very soul. I came here for the higher pay of work but it’s not even worth it. These various kinds of ignorance are everywhere in Ohio. Don’t waste your time here, and if you are here, get out as soon as possible!

  55. Toon?

    Meeps ala casta BOOSH, fleepsa ting.

    ZOTSHA! Meetle weetle ka-PING.

    Voon? Yep, voon. Nettles!

  56. “Higher pay of work”?

    Where are you from? India?
    Ohio does not have higher pay of work.

    Unless you are a narcotics distribution specialist.

    Then, yes, there are many exciting opportunities in the heroin merchandising industry due to the intense feelings of despair and hopelessness in Ohio.

  57. Oh, I’m picking out a thermos, for you,
    not an ordinary thermos, it’s true,
    but an extra special thermos,

    (OH MY FREAKING GOD YOUR TURDS HAVE TEEEEEEEEEEEEETH)

    the best money can buy,
    with vinyl, and stripes,
    and a cup built in! ๐Ÿ™‚

  58. Is That Sewer Smell trying to be Jar Jar Bunks or something? Barnyard Billie, I might as well be from India because I traveled from the inbred dirty south, which Ohio belongs in lol! The wages there are low compared to Shithio. That place is a special kind of Hell that should be nuked.

  59. Ahhh!
    Yes.

    We understand, now.

    Ah. Yes.

    Back to the South, witcha!

    The Greyhound Bus shall return you to your just reward in time for dinner.
    Munching on broken glass in the weeds behind the gas station. (mmmm)

  60. You could sell pot inside an abandoned shopping mall.

    Plenty of those in rural Ohio to choose from.

    Try the Food Court! Loads of customers.

  61. I’ve been gone from Shithio. I’m just expressing the facts about this fucked up place. All of you trolls need to get a life instead of trying to defend such an ignorant place.

  62. Your description of “Ohio” sounds an awful lot like Columbus.

    Columbus is not Ohio. Columbus is exactly what you describe, a collection of mutant misfits mentally deformed by pollution and political insanity.

    The rest of us are not like that. We deeply apologize for your experience within one of our few weirdo cities. Please do not judge us all by their behavior.

  63. Maryland? The home of marijuana dipped in PCP?

    Now THAT is fluid waste from under an abandoned toilet!

    Ha ha ha! You left one hellhole to go back to another!

    Ohio sucks, but Maryland should be incinerated!!!

  64. 100% TRUE
    ALL PEOPLE IN MARYLAND ARE SCUM
    THEY MUST ALL BE BURNED IN PITS OF FLAME
    MARYLAND MUST BE ERASED FROM THE HISTORY OF MANKIND
    ANYONE FROM MARYLAND MUST BE DESTROYED
    QUICKLY BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE
    DIE MARYLAND DIE
    IN HELL

  65. A bucket of mop water
    from the jail shower floor
    dumped, yes, dumped out
    into your Mom’s china cabinet

    eewh

    Bugs squirm inside glass
    gross mold dripping from silver
    roaches crawling down polished wood
    this is so disgusting we puke blood and spit

    in Ohio

  66. Ohio, where it is normal to have an IQ of 40. Ohio, where inbreeding is the norm. Ohio, the shitty birth state of the Cleavland Torso Murderer, Donald Harvey, Edward Edwards, Charles Manson, Jeffery Dahmer, Ariel Castro, Anthony Sowell, Brian Peppers, John Dillinger, John Dean, Randle Lee Roberts II, Jerenique Cunningham, Cleveland Jackson, Shawn Grate, Jeanette McAdams, James Litteral, Kim Anderson, Joy Major Hoop, Carl G. Lindsey, Charles Mitchell, Kevin Neal, Juan Kinley, Dovie Blanche Dean, “Arsenic” Anna Marie Hahn, Betty Butler, James Goff, Charles Arthur “Pretty Boy” Floyd, Cletus Reese, Donald Hoffman, Herb Baumeister, Judith Hawkey, Gerald Hand, Ollie Mastronardi, David Lance Bruce, James Worley, U.S. Army Major General Geoffrey D. Miller, Eric David Harris, Marvin Johnson, Daniel Bixler, Terry D. Shepherd, Matthew Dowdel, Eve Irene Kelley, Civil War general Robert Kingston Scott, Wesley Coonrod, Chester McKnight, Herbert Meeker, Michael and Sharon Gravelle, Reese Bailey, Ma’lik Richmond, Trent Mays, Mike McVey, Matthew Hoffman, Jeffrey Lundgren, Todd Hall, Scott Moody, Daniel Petric, John C. Stojetz, Steven Cepec, John Hedrick, Louis Hand, Jacob Nesbitt, Ralph Ash, Adelard Cunin, Travis Lee Fischer, Shane Roush, Thomas Lee Dillon, Frederick Mundt, Charles Hart, Patrick Pidock, Cleo Vernon Keaton, Michelle Bica, Dennis McGuire, Kenneth Richey, Christopher Newton, John Warren Parsons, Sandusky County Sheriff Kyle Overmyer, Lawrence Hensley, Bobby Lee Cutts, Marie Poling, Mark Dean Schwab, Nathan Gale, John Spirko Jr., Gregory McKnight, Austin Myers, Timothy Mosley, Noal Quattlebaum, Robert Anthony Buell, Andrew F. Tyler, Richard Edwin Fox, and Richard Clark Jr. Ohio, where the rarely smart people born there leave with a quickness. Ohio, where 95% of the population are desperate faggots, aka shit eaters, shit demons, shit goblins that won’t hook up with each other but will try to get with, and aggravatingly stalk, straight people. Ohio, where radon gas is very high. Ohio, where it is the norm to be a betraying, racist, evil person that will make friends just to use and leech off of them. Ohio, where the women are fat, pregnant, tattooed, full of stds and shattered life dreams by the time they are 20. Ohio, where the weather is as randomly fucked up as its people. Ohio, where all the Great Lakes are polluted to the brim and the sky is constantly filled with smog. Ohio, where the people have no good driving skills whatsoever. Ohio, where cluelessness and naivety is the norm. Ohio, where the only thing they are recognised for is their college football team. Ohio, which has checker patterned neighborhoods: really ghetto, really rich, really ghetto, etc. Ohio, which will stay stagnant with its funds. Ohio, which should be split into three sections: one for prisons, one for rehabs, and one for cemeteries. Ohio, where there are drugs everywhere because the locals have to numb out. They know how shitty this state is but they can’t ever admit it or make it better. Ohio, the shittiest state in the nation.

  67. Ah’m workin’ in Ohio
    mah head agin da brick wall
    mah tats and drugz are da BOMB
    whoopee! Saturday night’s all right!

    bums

    Here we come
    drinking Schlitz
    car fenders dragging
    sparks a-flyin’ downtown

    scums

    Keep tryin’ ta cross dah border
    not into West Virginny
    not into Indianny
    only into Tuscanoony

    in Ohio

  68. Ohio, where it is normal to have an IQ of 40. Ohio, where inbreeding is the norm. Ohio, the shitty birth state of the Cleavland Torso Murderer, Donald Harvey, Edward Edwards, Charles Manson, Jeffery Dahmer, Ariel Castro, Anthony Sowell, Brian Peppers, John Dillinger, John Dean, Randle Lee Roberts II, Jerenique Cunningham, Cleveland Jackson, Shawn Grate, Jeanette McAdams, James Litteral, Kim Anderson, Joy Major Hoop, Carl G. Lindsey, Charles Mitchell, Kevin Neal, Juan Kinley, Dovie Blanche Dean, “Arsenic” Anna Marie Hahn, Betty Butler, James Goff, Charles Arthur “Pretty Boy” Floyd, Cletus Reese, Donald Hoffman, Herb Baumeister, Judith Hawkey, Gerald Hand, Ollie Mastronardi, David Lance Bruce, James Worley, U.S. Army Major General Geoffrey D. Miller, Eric David Harris, Marvin Johnson, Daniel Bixler, Terry D. Shepherd, Matthew Dowdel, Eve Irene Kelley, Civil War General Robert Kingston Scott, Wesley Coonrod, Chester McKnight, Herbert Meeker, Michael and Sharon Gravelle, Reese Bailey, Ma’lik Richmond, Trent Mays, Mike McVey, Matthew Hoffman, Jeffrey Lundgren, Todd Hall, Scott Moody, Daniel Petric, John C. Stojetz, Steven Cepec, John Hedrick, Louis Hand, Jacob Nesbitt, Ralph Ash, Adelard Cunin, Travis Lee Fischer, Shane Roush, Thomas Lee Dillon, Frederick Mundt, Charles Hart, Patrick Pidock, Cleo Vernon Keaton, Michelle Bica, Dennis McGuire, Kenneth Richey, Christopher Newton, John Warren Parsons, Sandusky County Sheriff Kyle Overmyer, Lawrence Hensley, Bobby Lee Cutts, Marie Poling, Mark Dean Schwab, Nathan Gale, John Spirko Jr., Gregory McKnight, Austin Myers, Timothy Mosley, Noal Quattlebaum, Robert Anthony Buell, Andrew F. Tyler, Richard Edwin Fox, and Richard Clark Jr. Ohio, where the rarely smart people born there leave with a quickness. Ohio, where 95% of the population are desperate faggots, most likely due to the large amount of inbreeding. The shit eaters, shit demons, shit goblins won’t hook up with each other, but will try to get with, and aggravatingly stalk, straight people. Ohio, where the level of radon gas is very high. Ohio, where it is the norm to be a betraying, racist, evil person, that will make friends, just to use and leech off of them. Ohio, where the women are fat, pregnant, tattooed, full of stds and shattered life dreams by the time they are 20. Ohio, where the weather is as randomly fucked up as its people. Ohio, where the Cuyahoga River is so polluted that it has bursted into flames 13 times. Ohio, where all the Great Lakes are polluted to the brim and the sky is constantly filled with smog. Ohio, where the people have no good driving skills whatsoever. Ohio, where cluelessness and naivety is the norm. Ohio, where the only thing they are recognised for is their college football team. Ohio, which has checker patterned neighborhoods: really ghetto, really rich, really ghetto, etc. Ohio, which will stay stagnant with its funds. Ohio, which should be split into three sections: one for prisons, one for rehabs, and one for cemeteries. Ohio, where there are drugs everywhere because the locals have to numb out. They know how shitty this state is but they can’t ever admit it or make it better. Ohio, the shittiest state in the nation.

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