Roy Den Hollander: A Man of Limitations, A Man of Principle

Several groups of men have, at long last, discovered the true evil that lurks beneath the nightlife underbelly and have initiated the appropriate legislation to exact justice for the greatest threat to equality since they bussed in those dark-skinned kids into schools some decades ago. It turns out that those goddam women, who continue to complain about the apparent injustice of a woman making two thirds the annual income that a man makes, have now spawned a grand plan in collusion with nightclub owners to disrupt the natural patriarchal order. Not only do these women have the temerity to order drinks at a price lesser than that of a man, but they often get into these nightclubs for free! FOR FREE! Doesn’t a woman know that her only role in life is to a man’s pliable arm candy? Doesn’t a woman know that she must abstain from pursuing a career and do nothing more in life than cook, clean and reproduce?

Thankfully, there are brave men like Roy Den Hollander, who has tired of “being treated as a second-class citizen.” It’s bad enough that Mr. Hollander’s penis size is smaller than the norm. To dwell upon this personal topic is to open up a healing wound. But now Mr. Hollander has to suffer the indignity of paying one or two more dollars for a drink than a woman! Well, enough is enough. If you ask me, the only real solution here is to castrate Mr. Hollander and begin the appropriate court-enforced pre-op transexual procedures. It’s the only way to be sure. As a woman, only then will Mr. Hollander understand the gender chasm. As a woman, only then will Mr. — make that Ms. Hollander know the meaning of “second-class citizen.”

(via Jason Pinter)


  1. Just to protest this horrendous misuse of our judicial system, form now on I will only drink Fuzzy Navels when imbibing at my local den of inequality.

  2. To Lisa:

    –noun Rhetoric.
    1. obvious and intentional exaggeration.
    2. an extravagant statement or figure of speech not intended to be taken literally, as “to wait an eternity.”

  3. Our democracy is based on the assumption that we live together in good conscience and in good faith, even when we struggle with each other.

    Unfortunately this axiomatic assumption at the heart of the American experiment is too often lost its heirs.

    Your silly and sophistic law suit disgraces you. It is truly an assault on institutions that were established not for trivialities, but for serious matters. If you have no shame, then you cannot discern the difference.

  4. Either this man was verbally castrated at some point or he is desperate for attention. He can not possible believe his own ridiculous spouting off. He thinks that it is unfair (boo hoo) that women be granted special treatment because of gender, has this man ever picked up a history book?

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