1. On the other hand, this customer was satisfied:

    “To check the quality of my purchased uranium, I took some out of the can, poured it in a glass of water and tested if it would glow in the dark. And it did. Then I drank the water to certify its authentic toxicity. I can confirm the purity of the sample, as my hair is now falling out and the doctors give me two months to live. I give the product two thumbs up!”


  2. well duh. everyone knows time machines run on plutonium, not uranium.

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