Who the Hell is Emeril?

While trying to score some bakeware this afternoon, I ran smack dab into a huge display that read “Emeril.” Physically, I was unharmed. Emotionally, however, I was quite devastated. “Emeril,” you see, was photographed with his arms outstretched on the various boxes. I did a quick search on the Internet and found the following photos:

emeril2.jpgemeril1.jpgemeril3.jpg

There doesn’t appear to be a single photograph of this man with his arms close to his body.

Can someone tell me who this Emeril guy is? I don’t have cable television. I’m completely in the dark about his show. But what I do know is that it’s morally wrong to photograph a chef as if he just dismounted from a high beam. It does not, shall we say, inspire others to have fun in the kitchen.

To be perfectly frank, I’m alarmed by this man. His arms are so long that I wonder if they’re mechanical enhancements. While one can look into Emeril’s face and see that he’s just a giddy, harmless bastard, what of the moral costs?

All I needed was an extra baking sheet. Instead, the Emeril display had me sobbing like an infant.

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6 Comments

  1. Emeril is no Bobby Flay but I… could… lose myself in his sweet, sweet embrace. I’ve said too much.

  2. You seriously never heard of Emeril, Ed? He’s been on Food Network for years and is famous for his creole type dishes. His famous lines are ‘BAM!’ and ‘Kick it up a notch!’. He is also on ABC’s Good Morning America sometimes. He makes a damn good salad dressing and other sauces. I would love to be able to cook like that guy!

  3. Yeah, he’s one of those “personality” chefs. I’ve never watched him, really – I prefer the cooks that explain technique and food history (like Rick Bayless)- over showmanship.
    I do, however, own the complete range of “Emeril” branded cookware. It’s excellent – it’s actually the All-Clad nonstick range. A great investment.

  4. Emeril is a over-caffeinated, over-hyped Food TV Chef. He’s inevitably on when nothing else is– sort of like Save By the Bell used to be– and makes me want to kill myself. He actually seems like a reasonably good guy, but he needs to a)calm the fuck down, and b)be on tv less than 12 hours/day.

  5. Nope. Never heard of this guy. In fact, my TV is generally turned off. I only turned it on once this week to watch the Once Upon A Time in the West DVD.

    I guess what I want to know is whether Emeril’s genuine. I have fond memories of The Galloping Gourmet (the now sobered up Graham Kerr), largely because he was audacious enough to imbibe “a little wine for the chef” on camera. I’m of the conviction that television chefs need to be as insane or as screwed up as possible, if only to transform the sober rites of preparing food into something surreal. The insanity, however, must be genuine. And right now, I don’t have enough info to know if Emeril’s the kind of guy who is genuinely enthusiastic or as artificial as Nick Stellino.

  6. I think his enthuasiam is genuine. His eyes become overwhelmed with this look of obsession whenever he’s getting into cooking something. He has that brand of insanity you speak of that makes for a good cooking show. BAM!

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