All extroverts have suddenly become astonishingly antisocial. The sky has turned bright green. The ocean has turned hot pink. To get milk, you must squeeze it out of an iguana’s teat instead of a cow’s. Hot dogs and hot dog buns can be purchased in the exact same increment (both now come in sets of six)! Ants have decided that they were wrong about picnics and have proceeded to invade the banquets of the rich and snooty instead.

In a word, there’s been some small upset in the universe. Because The Da Vinci Code, that book which seemingly everyone has purchased, will NOT, repeat NOT be on the New York Times bestseller list this week.

Tears will be shed this weekend in the Dan Brown household. Fer shure.