7 More Questions

The Gray Lady has helpfully drafted a series of questions that couples should ask each other before marrying. I don’t know anyone who would base such a pivotal life choice on an article that could be easily clipped to the refrigerator, but in the interests of furthering many happy marriages, I present seven more questions:

16) If I were to take up a dangerous hobby like knife throwing, would you support me and possibly be my assistant? Even if it meant taking a hit on our life insurance rates?

17) Am I your sugar daddy/mommy? If I do not provide enough cash for your hobby/pipe dream, what might I be able to expect in the way of makeup sex?

18) If times are tough and we have no other way to get by, would it be okay with you if I put our five year old daughter on the meat market?

19) My inner sociopath is likely to kick in the minute you say, “I do.” Various sentiments that were fashionable during the Eisenhower administration might be in the cards. Still want in?

20) One of us is likely to gain weight shortly after we get hitched. Are we both committed to endless Lenten Dialogues and considerable pretending on the other’s part that we’re still physically attracted to each other?

21) There will come a point in which one or both of us will have an existential meltdown. Are you willing to help me emotionally and financially with my midlife crisis? Even if it means enduring an outdated muscle car parked for months in the driveway?

22) Would you marry me solely because I answered every question in a silly New York Times article?

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One Comment

  1. 23) Will there be a french maid and a pool boy in the bedroom?

    24) Do we agree on the use of the Dunce Cap and the little stool in the corner?

    25) Do we agree the first-born will go up on the mountaintop with the goat, the knife and God?

    26) At various times one or other of us will refer to the other as “a loser”–will that be behind the back or right to the face?

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