Be a Winner at the Game of Life

Jonathan Heawood has attempted to take advantage of Penguin’s recent findings. Apparently, Penguin Books has determined that men seen to be reading a book are more attractive to the opposite sex. I find this conclusion problematic on multiple levels. For example, how does the power of reading transcend offset teeth, bad body odor, unruly hair, and an adenoidal laugh? Does this rule apply to Tom Clancy novels? And if the book is really good, is the man capable of shifting his short attention span to notice the hypothetical lady who is staring at him? And if the woman is initially attracted to the man reading the book, how will she react when he opens his mouth and she realizes that he’s more capable talking about how some stirring streetcar advertisement that has caught his eye? Or is it best for the attractive male reader to simply remain silent and thus momentarily intellectual before the grand journey to the lady’s flat?

Turning the issue to more private millieus, if clandestine copulative activity is going badly, can the man redeem himself by putting Jennifer Weiner between he and his lover? Is holding the book a new way to resolve relationship issues? Can the man can now simply hold up the book, receiving a Charisma +2 mod while rolling the ten-sided die in the grand RPG of life, instead of listening? Will men be seduced into laying down their money for books instead of beer? More importantly, how does this translate into actual sales?

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  1. Men seen reading The Savage Nation must be causing massive cognitive dissonance. Except, perhaps, at Klan rallies where that tome is veritable Spanish Fly.

  2. I started an organization TWO years ago called Chicks Dig Books ( Once it started taking off, I approached all the major publishing houses to see if they would be interested (including Penguin). But what we do differntly is actually approach guys, Book them (give them a free book donated by authors), and tell them we find guys who read sexy.
    Hey, it’s a great way to meet guys and promote reading at the same time.
    Those Bast&^%S at Penguin UK stole my idea!

  3. When the Desperate Get Weird

    Seriously, back in April when we mentioned Penguin’s promotion to get British men to read, we thought it was a joke. It is with heavy heart that we report it wasn’t. Cash to men who are caught reading. Because men with noses in books are more attract…

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