Best. First Line for a Blog Post. Ever.

Maud Newton: “My friend John was taking a leak in a public restroom once when a deranged woman appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his cock.”

I can certainly relate to Maud’s experience. My own skirmishes with weirdness are legendary, but then you might say I’m often the Pied Piper for weird people, attracting them like field mice. The hell of it is that not one small town has yet offered a commission.

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