Smart Bitches, Trashy Books points to this remarkable advertisement:

We need 5 reviewers for 3 of our newly released titles. We ask that you write a 1-3 Paragraph review with a 5 star rating (5 being best) of each of the 3 books. We will then ask that you forward the reviews over to us so that we can look over them before you post them on Amazon.com and Barns and Noble.com. Most of our reviewers are paid from $5- to $10 per review or $15.00 to $30.00 per 3 review book set.

In other words, this publisher, who goes by the name “kenwelsh,” is all too happy to buy your opinions for less than the price of going to see a movie or two pints on a Saturday night.

Some preliminary investigation reveals no other ads by Ken Welsh on the site, but given that the man can’t even spell “Barnes & Noble” correctly, one fears the worst: not just for the poor saps who actually sell out for so little, but for this sleazeball named Ken Welsh.

Callie Miller, who has cornered the blogosphere market on lengthy writeups of author events, offers a new one involving Heidi Julavits. But she notes, “I have tried (and clearly failed) to create an ‘epic’ series of posts about the recent Julavits reading at Skylight Books. I’ve tried to come at it from many angles – the waiting, the wondering, the bizarre fans that arrive and conduct bizarre little rituals prior to the reading.”

Tell me about it. If you’re an incessant observer or note-taker, it never gets any easier. You just kind of do it and eventually you stumble upon an angle.

Mr. Jeff Bryant has asked numerous people to be involved with his Underrated Writers Project (including moi). Do check it out. Lots of great writers on the list.

New York Times: “Ms. Conner and Mr. Trump refused to answer any questions from reporters about reports alleging drug use or drug testing. Mr. Trump said that he went into a meeting with Ms. Conner this morning expecting to terminate her reign as Miss USA. But he said the meeting showed him someone with ‘a good heart’ who had ‘left a small town in Kentucky,’ only to be caught up in a ‘whirlwind’ in New York.”

Here’s a key to understanding the euphemisms, all helpfully contained in quotes (thank you, Ms. Hauser!), within this article:

“a good heart”: Team player.
“behavior and personal issues”: The tendency to have fun in a manner considered unwholesome to folks knocked out by a single shot of bourbon.
“left a small town in Kentucky”: She’s wholesome and American! Really! And she’s from Kentucky!*
“pushing”: Smearing a person’s character on silly charges.
“terrible”: Wouldn’t put out for Donald Trump.
“very, very bad”: Unacceptable to humorless prigs who haven’t had a night of fun in decades.
“whirlwind”: vigorous partying involving alcohol, some pot and coke, as enjoyed by thousands of other New York clubbers requiring a weekend divorce from reality.

* — Just like that Jim Varney guy you loved so much in the Ernest movies.