This is an eight year old criticizing Bill O’Reilly, Republicans and religion.
Bill O’Reilly has responded, claiming child abuse.
Only in America.
(via MeFi)
Category / Uncategorized
Yeah, We All Know How Well It Turned Out for Mao
CNN: “President Bush may be able to ‘announce a new way forward’ in Iraq by the end of the year, his chief spokesman told CNN Wednesday night.”
Three Words: Statute of Limitations
BBC: “Singer Olivia Newton-John has filed a legal action claiming she is owed more than $1m (£507,000) which was made from the Grease soundtrack album.”
Return of the Reluctant — Robert Shields Version
5:10 PM-5:13 PM: I twiddled my thumbs, contemplating how to kill the last twenty minutes at work. I was sick and tired of answering email. So I figured another blog entry would do. I typed three sentences, then four. Pretty soon I was up to five. I leaned back in my Aeron chair at a 35 degree angle, staring out the window, which was still streaked by the telltale sign of sludge. Then I thought about how utterly pointless it was writing a blog entry in the style of Charles Shields. This wasn’t fair, given that I had only examined one page. And yet I found that this killed time quite nicely.
5:14 PM: Was the last three minutes of writing necessary? Probably not. But I shouldn’t be editorializing here. After all, I’m supposed to describe what I’m doing. And yet since I’ve been sitting on my ass, there isn’t much to say about this that’s exciting. Okay, I just scrunched up my left buttcheek for kicks. Nobody was looking. That’s worth something, isn’t it?
5:15 PM: I think about what happened during 5:14 PM. Did I really scrunch up my left buttcheek because I needed to write about something interesting? Well, yes, I did. Does this mean I’m a sex addict or an exhibitionist? Do I have an ass fetish that I haven’t sufficiently explored?
5:16 PM: I offer a Nazi salute to a co-worker and click my heels. He’s one of the few around here who understands my sense of humor. A risky proposition. I then say goodbye to another co-worker.
5:17 PM: I decide to stop writing in the style of Charles Shields and wonder if there’s any easy way out of this without drawing attention to myself. I scrunch my right buttcheek for symmetrical balance. I then Control-C and Control-V this post into Microsoft Word. 300 words. I’ve been doing this seven minutes. I’d feel a sense of shame if I fired up Accessories/Calculator. So I do the math in my head and it works out to about 40 words/minute.
5:19 PM: What happened to 5:18 PM?
5:19 PM, Part Two: That was too quick an entry for 5:19 PM. I don’t think I’ll ever have to take a nitroglycerine tablet. Or at least I hope not!
5:19 PM, Part Three: This is a long minute.
5:19 PM, Part Four: When will it be 5:20 PM?
5:20 PM-5:21 PM: I go to the restroom. I don’t really have to go, but it’s good exercise. I urinated more piss than I expected to. There is a man in one of the stalls using far too much toilet paper. I know who it is. This might explain why he walks funny.
5:22 PM: I think I preferred 5:21 PM over 5:22 PM.
Perhaps Dylan Stableford’s the Real Whore
Over at Fishbowl NY, Dylan Stableford remarks upon Jessica Cutler’s last-minute cancellation for a Mediabistro panel. Where most professionals would let such a cancellation go without comment, Stableford, who couldn’t possibly be thinking about Mediabistro’s interests at all, writes, “we’re shocked…that someone known for exchanging sex for money would behave this way.”
Bad enough that such a pissy post would be considered pertinent, but the attempt to taint Cutler here as a virago, when Cutler herself offered a reasonable (albeit last-minute) answer, is sleazier than a weekend NAMBLA gathering. And apparently, I’m not alone: the panel’s moderator, Rachel Kramer Bussel, also has some thoughts, pointing to the lawsuit’s possible ramifications and the need for care.
In a later post, Stableford attempts to soften Bussel’s charges, without, of course, pointing to the obvious fact that Fishbowl is owned and operated by Mediabistro.