Category / Uncategorized

by DrMabuse

Happy Halloween

[Forrest J. Ackerman] [Clive Barker] [Jessica Barone] [Charles Beaumont] [Ambrose Bierce] [Algernon Blackwood] [Robert Bloch] [Poppy Z. Brite] [Grimm Brothers] [Ramsey Campbell] [Hugh B. Cave] [Thomas Disch] [Edward Gorey] [Shirley Jackson] [M.R. James] [Jack Ketchum] [Stephen King] [Joe R. Lansdale] [Richard Laymon] [Thomas Ligotti] [Bentley Little] [H.P. Lovecraft] [Robert McCammon] [George R.R. Martin] [Richard Matheson] [Yvonne Navarro] [Joyce Carol Oates][Edgar Allen Poe] [Tim Powers] [Ray Russell] [Mary Shelley] [Joseph Sheridan le Fanu] [Dan Simmons] [Bram Stoker] [Peter Straub] [J.N. Williamson]

and to anyone else I might have missed.

by DrMabuse

Insomnia-Charged Roundup

  • Audrey Niffenegger confesses that she wrote the sex scenes in The Time Traveler’s Wife last. Niffenegger is also penning a a writing book called You’ll Only Finish Your Novel If You Save the Best for Last.
  • Thomas Harris has finished yet another Hannibal novel, which will not only describe how Lecter developed his appetite for evil, but include a metafictional subplot involving how Harris developed his appetite for beating a dead horse.
  • Ten writers have won Whiting Writers’ Awards, including Dan Chiasson, Alison Glock, A. Van Jordan and Tracey Scott Wilson. Each will receive $35,000, a Tijuana vacation for two, and the keys to Tina Brown’s Beamer for one weekend.
  • J.M. Coetzee tackles Philip Roth.
  • Susanna Clarke has nothing on Lula Parsons. Parsons took 50 years to write her novel. She’s 92.
  • Frank Darabont’s script for Indiana Jones 4 was rejected by Lucas. Now it’s Jeff (The Terminal) Nathanson on hand and an almost certain temple of doom.
  • The Flaming Lips are publishing a photo book.
  • Michiko’s verdict on Charlotte Simmons? A flat-footed new novel. The Sun also calls it “Wolfe’s worst novel.” This does not augur well.
by DrMabuse

Transcript of the Unedited Azzam Tape

azzam.jpgMUFFLED VOICE: Is this thing on?

AZZAM: Yessss…it iz on. I can see ze blinking red light. Do you have zee After Effects software for ze menacing logo?

MUFFLED VOICE: Yes.

AZZAM: Very good. Hahahahahaha. I am Azzam the American. Heed my worrrrrrrrrrds.

MUFFLED VOICE: Azzam, keep your hood on.

AZZAM: Yesss…you are riiiiiiiiiight. We mest scare ze bejeeeesus out of the crooked American peoples. Rumorz on zee Internets. Zey won’t be able to authenticate zis.

MUFFLED VOICE: For God’s sake, Azzam, don’t use plural like that. You’ll give away our cover.

AZZAM: Shut up, Umar. I am zee great Azzam and this esss my show. I speak en zee tones of an ominous Middle Eastern stereotype zat cannut be corroborated. America is evil and shall pay. It is a tyrannous nation with blood dripping out of my nose. I, ze great Azzam the American, shall frighten all evil Americans. Including ze smallest of children. America is a tyranny.

MUFFLED VOICE: Pronounce it tie-ryanny.

AZZAM: Yessssss, America is a tie-ryanny! (inaudible, followed by loud maniacal laughter) It ess a country where ze oil flows like wine. Rumsfield, Bush. All evil. (Here, the word “evil” has been accentuated with post-production reverb) I am Azzam the American. My voice shall bring great terrrrrror and much blood in the streets. Bill Maher will be my personal pony. You have been warned.

MUFFLED VOICE: Hey Azzam!

AZZAM: What essss it?

MUFFLED VOICE: Your fly’s undone.