I Heart Liz Penn

The dear Ms. Penn replies to a spammer: “How dare you, Mr. Pussy? (I take the liberty of addressing you as ‘Mr.’ since the default sex of the human being is apparently male, an assumption your colleagues have made freely as they express their ongoing concern for my need for penile enhancement.) How dare you pollute my beautiful pristine comment boxes, waiting in all innocence to be filled with thoughtful comments from readers throughout New Zealand, with your onslaught of meaningless filth? (I generally shy away from such ideologically loaded dichotomies as ‘purity’ and ‘filth,’ but as Groucho Marx said, in your case I’ll make an exception.) Your 82 comments are so many exhalations from the foulest depths of hell, and I deplore them, and you, with all my being.”

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