Robertson Clarifies

Pat Robertson now says that his quote was misinterpreted. He didn’t really want to assassinate Hugo Chavez. Rather, he hoped that special forces could storm into Venezuela, kidnap President Chavez and send the President to Robertson’s private bungalow, where Chavez would then be converted to Christianity and, should Chavez not prove flexible, be subjected to the Problem Child films and have his skull converted into a bookend for Robertson’s study.

Robertson, you see, is a scholar and a pragmatist. Not a hatemonger and an assclown. And we’re grateful that he’s come clean with his intentions.


  1. Frankly, I’m so fed up at this point, I wish he and his kind would just SHUT UP ALREADY.

    I also wish humans in general would have long ago evolved to the point where they must possess a minimum intelligence before they can conceive of, speak and/or write words. It seems to me that many people’s mouths come into working order long before their brains do, assuming their brains ever do, which may be a big assumption.

  2. He says he didn’t say “assassination.” Except that he did. Per Tim Grieve at, Robertson said:

    “You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it,” Robertson said Monday. ”It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war . . . and I don’t think any oil shipments will stop.”

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