For the record, my TCCI is 54%. Teachout’s damn crazy is he thinks he’s going to get us to eat anchovies or give up James Joyce or pomo, let alone deny the kickass Rio Bravo or choose Steely Dan (!) over Elvis Costello.
In response to the TCCI, I present the Reluctant Index. Answer these questions:
- Edible underwear or underworn edibles?
- Trotsky or Guevara?
- Hunter S. Thompson or Dan Rather?
- Punk rock or bubble gum pop?
- Freezing to death or burning to death?
- 69 or 666?
- Being caught letting loose a fart in public or being caught letting loose a belch in public?
- Joe vs. the Volcano: yes or no?
Tally your score by counting left and right answers. Then divide the left score by three without using paper or a calculator. If the final count is more than 0.00005, you’re okay in my book.