Today’s big news: Thomas Harris has turned out another Hannibal book, just in time for the holidays. I’ll keep my thoughts on Mr. Harris’s books to myself. There is something more troubling at work here.
The new book is called Hannibal Rising — this after the imaginatively titled Hannibal.
Was ever there an author more lazier with his titles? Where other authors might give you titles like Special Topics in Calamity Physics or I Feel Bad About My Neck, words that make us curious about the inner contents, Mr. Harris has decided upon Hannibal and Hannibal Rising.
Well, I don’t believe it’s too late. And, as a public service to Delacorte Press, I offer the following titular alternatives:
- Bride of Hannibal
- Revenge of Hannibal
- Hannibal Strikes Again
- Son of Hannibal
- It Came From Hannibal
- The Amazing Adventures of Hannibal & Hannibal
- Hannibal X
- Just When You Thought It Was Safe: Hannibal
- The Hannibal That Wouldn’t Die
- Hannibal: Season of the Witch
- Fishing with Hannibal
- The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Hannibal
- Hannibal, Hannibal
- The Night of the Living Hannibal
- Putting the Nib in Hannibal
- Hannibal: Dream Warriors
- Hannibal II: Electric Boogaloo
- I Ate Out With Hannibal and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
- Hannibal, How About You?
- My Dinner With Hannibal
- Hannibal’s Marauders
- Hannibal Disco Derby
- Hannibal Will Be 25 in the Year 2000
- Hannibal: Not the Cannibal You Were Expecting
- Hannibal, American Style
- The Good, The Bad & The Hannibal
- I Once Knew a Cannibal Called Hannibal
- Once, Twice, Three Times a Hannibal
- Hannibal Cordon Bleu
- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hannibal
- Hannibal, Too
- I Have No Hannibal and I Must Eat
- Hannibal: The Early Years
- Hannibal on Handball
- Hannibal If You Love Jesus
- Hannibal Takes Manhattan
The Call by Yannick Murphy: The always interesting author of Here They Come and Signed, Mata Hari returns with a novel that whips up a worldview from a rather quirky set of limitations: namely, the call logs that a veterinarian maintains as his son is unexpectedly put into a coma and an unforgiving economy denies him work. What emerges is a surprisingly optimistic, often funny, and very moving account on how one family uses acceptance and forgiveness as a way to atone for hard knocks. (
Birds of Paradise by Diana Abu-Jaber: Forget Franzen and Eugenides. If you're looking for a social novel that counts, Diana Abu-Jaber is the author you're looking for. Building from the free-form exploration of consciousness and identity in Crescent and the gripping procedural structure of Origin, Abu-Jaber's latest novel is her finest, equally fluent with gutterpunk culture and smarmy real estate men. It has been suggested by The Washington Post's Ron Charles that you will likely gain some pounds while reading this novel. This is certainly true. Abu-Jaber's description of food is so precise that it often made me want to do more cooking. But I very much admired the way in which Abu-Jaber presents all her characters as unwitting victims of rough capitalism, which permits them some dignity even as they perform terrible acts.
The Last of the Live Nude Girls by Sheila McClear: This memoir isn't so much about the decline of the Times Square peepshow, as it is about one young woman's efforts to pull herself up by by her bootstraps when presented with few economic options. Filled with self-introspective candor and a quiet dignity, McClear's story is one that might befall any of us in these volatile times. While McClear does get back on her feet, her book leads one contemplating the terrible fates of other young women now moving to New York and falling into deadlier vocations. (
Not to mention the obvious ones:
- Special Topics In Hannibal Physics
- I Feel Hannibal About My Neck
Don’t forget Hannibal Two: Electric Boogaloo.
In all fairness to him (which is not something I’m sure he deserves after Hannibal, or the few dreadful chapters I actually managed to read), isn’t it possible that the publisher had a hand in the title? With Hannibal, the title told readers more or less everything they needed to know: “Remember that character from the author’s other books? More to the point, remember Anthony Hopkins’ portrayal of him? Wasn’t that creepy? Well here he is, in his own book. It’s like the others, but only more so!” Hannibal Rising may not be quite as spot-on — unless the book involves a high-speed hot-air-balloon chase — but it’s not the most unoriginal I’ve heard.
The Silence of the Lambs is fairly original, at least as titles go…
Good ones. These were going through my head as I read yours.
Extremely Close, Incredibly Hannibal.
Two Hannibals, Fat and Thin
Searching for Hannibal Hannibal
A Farewell to Hannibal
To Hannibal or Have Not Hannibal
Are You Gonna Finish That?
What about:
The Curious Incident of the Hannibal in the Night
The Emperors Hannibal
I can’t believe no one has suggested Hannibals on a Plane.
Hannibal Farm.
What about that guy, what does all those “Rabbit [verb]” titles?
Well, okay, if we’re just going for silly alternates, than I have to toss out “National Lampoon’s Hannibal House”.
Here Comes Hannibal
It’s Fucking Hannibal, Stupid
The Adventures of Hannibal Across the 8th Dimension
I can’t believe no one listed ” Hannibal Farm”!
oops!
I was a teenage Hannibal
I was a teenage Hannibal for the FBI
The Life and Opinions of Hannibal Lecter, Gentleman
Shakespeare was worse: Henry IV, Part I; Henry the IV, Part I; Henry V . . . Never had a Willy or a Sam!
hannibal does dallas