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Month / January 2004
German Minister of Defense Peter Struck Declares That He’s More Menacing than Rumsfield, Demands Mud Wrestling Match with Rummy in Washington
Woof Woof
Taking a cue from Hilary Clinton, Cherie Blair is set to write a memoir. In an effort to upstage Hilary’s infamous response-to-Monica in Living History and spawn sales, Blair will depict husband Tony as “a wild stallion who isn’t bad in bed, I’ll have you know. You should see the way he undulates.” Unfortunately, the memoir won’t attempt to explain why Tony Blair transforms into a lapdog whenever he visits Kennebunkport.
Something to ponder over on Monday, unless you’re an Evan Machem fan: A new study reports that schools are almost as segregated today as they were back in 1969. A new study by the Harvard Civil Rights Project reports that the percentage of blacks attending predominantly white schools has fallen to 30%.
An article from Gould’s Book of Fish author Richard Flanagan has helped to spawn a letter writing campaign to save the Tasmanian forests.
Sad news for anyone who’s ever collected twelve inches. The CD single’s to be phased out in three years. The hunt for quirky tracks and strange mixes will go the way of the dodo. Or possibly Dido.
Conversation with a Fellow Customer
“Security. Does wonders for the mind.”
He set down his bottle, which he paid with a twenty.
“Really?” I asked. “How so?”
“Well, for starters, there’s the discipline.”
“Discipline?”
“Yeah. Ain’t no job try your patience. I be doing this seven years.”
“What do you do on the job?”
“Stand round, lookin’ wise. Not much trouble. See, they hires us ’cause they thinks they got something. But they don’t. Nothing important. Nothing I see. Nothing no one, no man steal. Know what I’m sayin’?”
“Yeah.”
“Just ’bout any one get this kinda work. Show up. Stick around, few weeks they make you supervisor. All in the attitude.”
He collected his change.
“And this is good for the mind?”
“Oh yeah. Real good. Keepin’ it real. Keeps you tight.”
“Doesn’t it get boring?”
“Sometimes. Yeah. But it’s good for the mind, wonders, see. I see most folks cut out quick. Real quick. They the ones got small minds. The real ones hang in. Damn easy. If the mind keeps going, shit, you get supervisor pay. Twelve dollars an hour.”
“So your mind’s in this for the money.”
“Hell yeah. Who ain’t? Gets me cab fare sometimes. Some folks don’t know pay when they hang in there.”
The New Twilight Zone on DVD
TV Shows on DVD reports that The New Twilight Zone (the edgy 1985 version, not its recent incarnation) may be hitting DVD in July 2004. I’ve contacted Image Entertainment. Nick, in the Public Relations department, says that he’s “heard about this.” But it remains unconfirmed. I’ve left a voicemail with Cindy Barrow, the attorney who handles the legal contracts, to see if I can get confirmation on this. If I hear anything back from her, I will report it here.