Category / Fundamentalism
Robertson Clarifies
Pat Robertson now says that his quote was misinterpreted. He didn’t really want to assassinate Hugo Chavez. Rather, he hoped that special forces could storm into Venezuela, kidnap President Chavez and send the President to Robertson’s private bungalow, where Chavez would then be converted to Christianity and, should Chavez not prove flexible, be subjected to the Problem Child films and have his skull converted into a bookend for Robertson’s study.
Robertson, you see, is a scholar and a pragmatist. Not a hatemonger and an assclown. And we’re grateful that he’s come clean with his intentions.
Hey, We May Be More Paranoid Than We Think
You’ve sold more than 40 million books. Number 12’s about to come out. What do you do to keep your readers hooked? You throw in the Messiah himself.
Yes, Glorious Appearing, the latest entry in the Left Behind series is almost due. And this time, it’s personal. Jesus himself shows up. And for those who can’t wait for the Literary Event of the Millennium, there’s an excerpt up for die-hards:
Mac’s magnified vision fell upon colorful, metallic pieces glinting in the sun, perhaps a mile from his position. Oh no.
A red fuel tank and a tire looked very much like parts from Rayford’s all-terrain vehicle. Mac tried to steady his hands as he panned in a wide arc, looking for signs of his friend. It appeared the ATV could have been hit by a heat-seeking missile or smashed to bits by tumbling. Perhaps, he thought, no sign of Rayford nearby was good news.
Quite possibly, the prose could have been wrought by a devout illiterate or ignored to bits by sleeping.
Dr. LaHaye also notes, “The Bible clearly teaches there’s going to be a one-world government in the last days. And after the Rapture of the church, then that one-world government will coalesce, bringing together all the governments of the world and also bringing together all the religions of the world. The fact that we’re seeing some of those things happen right now must be a wake-up call to some people to say, `Hey, we may be closer than we think.’ ”
I don’t know, Doc. I’d go with the unnecessary revival of Kirk Cameron’s career as augury.
The Reader’s Last Sigh
The Associated Press reports that Rushdie’s new novel will “have a lot more India in it” than Midnight’s Children. That’s great. But it still doesn’t change the fact that Rushdie hasn’t written a single compelling novel since Haroun and the Sea of Stories.
Who says they aren’t crazy about libraries in the sticks? In Modesto, 100 volunteers are trying to maintain a small sales tax to ensure that their libraries stay open.
Geologists are trying to stop a creationist book from being sold at the Grand Canyon. The book, Grand Canyon: A Different View, suggests that the Canyon came into being not by the erosion of the Colorado River over millions of years, but because of a wager between Jesus and Peter. Peter lost the bet. And instead of turning water into wine, as Peter hoped, Jesus created the Grand Canyon. But not without starting a few side projects like lime jello and double-entry bookkeeping.
And Pete Rose has the best marketing gimmick around: “Read my book before judging me.”
[1/24/06 UPDATE: As of November 2004, the controversy died down. I am not in a position to confirm this, although I will try and make a phone call to determine what the National Park Service’s position is, but it appears that Tom Vail’s apocryphal book is still being sold at the Grand Canyon store. Of course, all this came well before any of the Intelligent Design bullshit. But the decidedly unscientific Tom Vail has remained quite smug about his victory.]