Reason #426 Why Jonathan Franzen is No Fun

Jonathan Franzen does not want to be my Facebook friend. He is, however, Howard Junker’s Facebook friend. This is understandable, because Howard Junker is Howard Junker. Nevertheless.

Many of my former and current nemeses are my Facebook friends. For crying out loud, even Rick Moody is my Facebook friend. If Jonathan Franzen wishes to keep up this virtual Bartleby business, well then that is certainly his right as a human being. But I think Facebook may very well be a good judge of character. After all, if someone won’t be your Facebook friend, what does this say about the person’s ability to connect with the world at large?

I’ve taken to simply saying yes to anybody. I figure that most people in the world are pretty decent. I figure that anybody who seeks me out on Facebook probably has a good reason. And life’s really too short to deny someone their pleasure. It takes a fussy bastard indeed to say no to someone on this thing.


  1. See, you make me feel mean!

    I said no to somebody. I had absolutely no idea who he was, there was simply no reason I could see why he had asked me. He wasn’t any kind of a writer, nor did we have a single friend in common. It had the feel of a guy sidling up behind your bar stool and making an assumption, so I said no.

  2. Oh & btw I have often been called fussy, but never a bastard! And I did scrutinise the poor sap’s profile to see if he looked even a LITTLE bit fun… but alas, no.

  3. But why would you want to be Jonathan Franzen’s Facebook Friend? Wouldn’t smacking your nuts with a ballpeen hammer be more efficient and earn you points on your Home Depot card?

  4. Get over it.

    Facebook is not junior high school, just the online equivalent.

    Franzen has a right to choose his friends on Facebook and elsewhere, esp. because Facebook is filled with so much spam, so much throwing of sheep, etc.

    There are lots of people on Facebook who don’t even let you try to “add” them; Eggers, for example.

    Moody let’s everyone friend him. Good for him. But so what.

    I’ve never met Franzen, but we do have a close connection, so it wasn’t just wishful thinking on my part,as it was on yours.

    However, I do support your efforts to make Uma Thurman let all of us be her friend.


  5. Franzen has not accepted my friend request either, even though I am a huge fan. Moody is my friend and I love his work so much.

  6. This is funny but I just came upon this blog while feeling very badly that Jonathan Franzen had not responded to MY request to be his facebook friend. And I actually thought we were friends, or at least friendly acquaintances. No real nemesis potential here, as I am pretty much of a fawning fan.

    I just joined, and everyone else I could find whom I knew got back to me right away….

    But you did make me feel better. Maybe none of us need take it personally. Maybe he just doesn’t get around to responding to most people about this sort of thing. V. busy, too may invites and so forth.

    Or maybe we BOTH offend the crap out of him!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *