I have looked into the face of the force which put the ideas in your head. I was not bred or led by the other litbloggers, least of all Edward Champion, whose aura and indolence I cannot stand. The gun is good! The penis is evil! The Internet is almost as evil as the penis, for it shoots links, and makes new conversation. And while Zardoz might be pleased, for the sake of the whole Vortex, I must provide you with valued information to be used, reused, abused and amazed!
- First of all, Dan Wickett approached the periphery shield of Vortex Five by interviewing another slate of these so-called litbloggers. The Tabernacle, no doubt, will have something to say about this.
- It seems unseemly that one of the old ones, H.P. Lovecraft, would find favor with the evil penis-worshippers, they being content to sing of highways to hell and lightning to be mounted like a noble horse. But it is he and Tolkien who are the chosen ones among this subsect. Zardoz will have his revenge.
- Thank the gods for Elizabeth Crane, who has found a solution to that sham of a floating head. The teddy bear will be ably worshipped by the new order, Citizen Crane. I am not certain how it will fit in with the overall problem of penile erection. But we shall find a way!
- What is this Charlotte cultural scene but a feeble effort to confuse my people? There is no Charlotte! I suspect this is a ruse to create more Immortal Seniles. Dave Munger will, of course, be dealt with by the legendary Arthur Frayn. We need more souls to throw to the puppet master.
- Marvel Romance may light the Bad Man’s fire, but this is contrary to the survival of the human race. We must not sire more brutals! And anything that proliferates aimless procreation must be destroyed by my gun!
- No, Hogan! We won’t be assimilated into the Votex! It must be destroyed. Revenge is the first order of business.
© 2006, Edward Champion. All rights reserved.