…but they’re reading together Friday night at Bluestockings.

I tell them, “Boys, ya gotta promote yourselves once in a while! It wouldn’t kill you! Stop being so self-effacing all the time!”

But do they listen to their Uncle Richard? Not on your life! They’re a pair of shrinking violents, the two of them!

I heard what Tao said to Nick when he thought I was dozing off during The Price is Right: “What does he know, he was born in the Truman administration!”

Feh. I don’t know what’s wrong with these kids today, they’re like Casper Milquetoasts or something. That’s why I had to tell them to call the Bluestockings reading “Hot Young Live Sexy Debut Novelists.”

It will also feature the lovely Douglas Light and the debonair Deb Olin Unferth. Remember, 7 p.m. Friday at my favorite Lower East Side radical feminist bookstore, Bluestockings. And I think you can nosh on something while they’re reading.

*****
UPDATE: Go know, I’ve just been informed that I am supposed to be reading with Tao, Dan Hoy and Ellen Kennedy for 3:AM Magazine tonight at Galapagos Art Space. But my VCR’s on the fritz, it’s One Tree Hill night, and I think that new girl is going to tell Lucas that it was Dan, not Jimmy, who killed his uncle. Plus, it’s sweeps month, I’m a Nielsen viewer, and if I go, the CW loses its entire 55-and-over demographic. The network can kiss those Polident and Depends ads goodbye! What a revolting development this is.

[RELATED: David Blum talks about his first time. Also, John Freeman talks about his first time. If you, dear readers, would like to talk about YOUR first time too, the comments await your inept introductions to the form.]