Hate Mail Dramatic Reading Project #10

Earlier in the day, I had emailed a “journalist” some off-the-record information — no specific quotes, just some key data that he might wish to investigate for a story. I believed that this information might be of help to him. Despite being clear to point out to the “journalist” that the email sent to him was “off the record” and that I could not divulge the specific quotes or the absolute specifics out of respect to my subject, the “journalist” violated my trust and posted the email anyway. I then telephoned the “journalist,” asking him to remove the post in a firm yet polite tone.

This “journalist” then emailed me an ALLCAPS email. Who sends emails in ALLCAPS anymore?

Therefore, my audio series — Hate Mail Dramatic Reading Project — must continue.

The following clip represents my dramatic reading of the hate mail in question, read in the style of Mel Gibson talking on the telephone. The names have been changed.

I plan to continue reading any and all hate mail that arrives my way. And I will be happy to read any specific hate mail that you’ve received. (If you do send me hate mail for potential dramatic readings, I only ask that you redact the names of the individuals.)

Click any of the below links to listen.

Hate Mail Dramatic Reading Project #10 (Download MP3)

This text will be replaced

Previous Hate Mail Dramatic Reading Installments:

#9 A hate mail read in the style of Tennessee Williams
#8 A hate mail read in the style of Jimmy Stewart
#7 A hate mail read in the style of Glenn Beck
#6 A hate mail read in the style of a Miss Manners schoolmarmish tone
#5 A hate mail read in the style of Richard Milhous Nixon
#4: A hate mail read in the style of a drunken Irishman.
#3: A hate mail read in the style of a quiet sociopath
#2: A hate mail read in a muted Peter Lorre impression
#1: A hate mail read in a melodramatic, quasi-Shakespearean style


  1. In Hate Speech, Sex Speech, Free Speech (Praeger, Westport CT) 1997, Nicholson Wolfson says that hate speech “tears the weave of the community in which the speech is made, breaks down civil discourse and incites weak-minded onlookers to similar thoughts and words.” (47)

    He continues: “I personally believe that racist and sexist insults and epithets harm the listener, but I confess I do not know the amount of permanence of the alleged harm with scientific certitude.” (56)

    In Opposing Hate Speech (Praeger, Westport CT) 2006, Anthony Cortese stages hate speech like a pathology. (8)

    Stage 1: Unintentional Discrimination (Offending Minorities, But Not on Purpose)

    Stage 2: Conscious Discrimination (Intentionally Denigrating Minorities)

    Stage 3: Inciting Discriminatory Hatred (Generating Feelings of Hatred for Minorities)

    Stage 4: Inciting Discriminatory Violence (Encouraging Violence Against Minorities)

    Don’t know a thing about Mel Gibson, Ed, don’t pay him any mind. I do have a vague memory of reading a few pages from Mein Kampf as a youngster and feeling faint, just from the cadences. Similarly, yesterday in McNally Jackson my index finger almost fell off my right hand from Toxic Shock Syndrome (not bloody-tampon induced) after touching the Whitney Houston opener in Super Sad True Love Story. It’s possible Shteynart based on that one passage alone could score in the 3.0-3.5 range.

    Random House’s Legal Department was apparently asleep at the switch, but Marketing’s probably having a field day. Ladies and Gentlemen, see the super sad but true Hunter College Creative Writing MFA Grad step n’ fetch it for Empire: we give you Gary Shteyngart–the Al Jolson of Literary Fiction!

  2. Bwaahahaha! You could have ended that with a calm “I called.”

    A journalist (or anyone, really) that types in all caps should only be doing so on purpose and with purpose, to make a real screaming point or as a joke. An all caps e-mail is the most unprofessional, laughable thing a person can do in e-mail! That or all lower-case, unless you are Moby.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *