Ben Tanzer: “But how does one get a piece on the show? Or even meet Ira Glass who I understand rests in a cryogenically sealed chamber between shows? I imagine one could lurk outside the studio or Ira’s home, though again please note that I am not a stalker, and that the charges to that effect filed by NPR’s legal office here in Chicago did not stick. One could also submit their work, which I have done, but how well does one’s actual work reflect their wit, timing, and ability to move the public to tears, joy, and maybe even arousal in the space of one sentence? Not well my friend, not my work anyway.” (via Pete Anderson)
Author / Edward Champion
There Are No Friendly Musicians!
An Open Reply to John Twelve Hawks
Dear Mr. Hawks:
I feel uncomfortable typing those last two words — “Mr. Hawks,” that is — because it provides the faint hope that I might be channeling Howard’s great spirit or addressing an eccentric falconer. But I have received your message. I have my considerable doubts about whether you are indeed the John Twelve Hawks who lives off the grid. For if you are aware of my work, surely this runs counter to your secular manifesto? Or is this all the secular marketing whipped up by others? Whatever the case, if you are who you say you are, I accept your proposal, although I’m sure both of us have plenty of time left to live. If you wish to follow through with your idea, then you can send me another message at some future point with additional details and I will confirm it all here. Rest assured, as a man of my word, I shall not reveal your secret identity. Although I must confess that I was highly amused by the envelope and the postmark. You have friends in very interesting places, sir.
Very truly yours,
Edward Champion
[UPDATE: It appears that Jeff VanderMeer was also contacted by “John Twelve Hawks.” I received the same letterhead, same envelope, same postmark. Matt Staggs offers additional speculation.]
The Bat Segundo Show: Rachel Shukert
Rachel Shukert appeared on The Bat Segundo Show #217. Shukert is the author of Have You No Shame? Incidentally, she’ll be appearing at the July 17th installment of the In the Flesh reading series.
Condition of the Show: Contending with tenuous widows and the mysterious circumstances of Mr. Segundo’s death.
Author: Rachel Shukert
Subjects Discussed: Whether Ms. Shukert is still on the Viacom blacklist, the soul-crushing aspects of temping, working odd jobs in Amsterdam, Anne Frank as a constant in life, the holy similarities between Northw__t and G_d, plane crashes vs. car crashes, airlines and gods, the legal system and divine repercussions, lawyers in Nebraska, talk show hosts who come from Nebraska, Montgomery Clift, the relationship between Jewish identity and location, Omaha vs. New York, the notion of stretching out time, writing truthfully about scatological topics, placing a parental advisory warning, expanding the limitations of personal experience, on being perceived by others, limits on confessional writing, room for the persona to grow within annotation, elevated prose, abandoned sets of footnotes left out of the book, David Foster Wallace’s “Tri-Stan: I Sold Sissee Nar to Ecko,” David Macaulay’s Motel of the Mysteries, Will Self’s The Book of Dave, Newt Gingrich, writing letters vs. email, using all caps in print vs. online, grouping people into taxonomies, Fred Savage and Jason Priestley, first crushes, being published as a paperback original, The Anorexic’s Cookbook vs. The Anarchist’s Cookbook, and performing pieces in front of a crowd.
EXCERPT FROM SHOW:
Shukert: Jason Priestly and Fred Savage were the two guys on TV who I had big crushes on as a child. I had a picture of Fred Savage in my locker that I cut out from the newspaper. I remember that he was holding a candy box. Like a Valentine’s heart box. And I would pretend that he was holding it for me. And then when I got a little older, I thought Jason Priestly was the handsomest man I had ever seen. I mean, when I say “a little older,” I mean ten. But I had a big poster of him in my room too.
Correspondent: Who was the first crush you had?
Shukert: Gene Kelly.
Correspondent: Really? And he’s not referenced in the book.
Shukert: No. That’s private. (laughs)
Correspondent: Not anymore. It’s public now. But this is an interesting distinction. Are you slightly ashamed of these crushes?
Shukert: No, I’m not ashamed. But there’s a difference between being ashamed of something and just having something close to your heart. (laughs)
Correspondent: Wow. Well, I’m curious. How much does a crush linger over the course of one’s life like this? I mean, you can be safe with Jason Priestly and Fred Savage, but…
Shukert: I don’t have crushes on them anymore.
Correspondent: But you still have a crush on Gene Kelly.
Shukert: Yes, but he’s dead.
Correspondent: He’s dead. The dead people are the ones to really lust after the best.
Shukert: Yeah, I think that that’s true.
Correspondent: Because there’s no way that you can possibly consummate it.
Shukert: I also loved Paul Newman as a child.
Correspondent: What are you going to do when he dies?
Shukert: I’ll be sad. I’ll mourn like a widow.
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The Bat Segundo Show: Mort Walker
Mort Walker appeared on The Bat Segundo Show #216. Mort Walker is the creator of Beetle Bailey. A volume of the first two years of Beetle Bailey is now out.
Condition of the Show: Observing fifty years of development.
Author: Mort Walker
Subjects Discussed: Walker’s drawing pace, the Beetle Bailey production cycle, filtering through the gags, rejected strips sent to Sweden, Beetle’s early days as a slacker in college, the military as the common experience, Walker’s relationship with the syndicate, the curly hair look of Buzz and Lois, portrait-like illustrations of women, early attention to background, the shrinking space of newspaper comics, Berkeley Breathed and Bill Watterson’s fights for space, appealing to the greatest number of readers, the development of Sarge’s girth and teeth, Plato as the only other character carryover, covering the eyes of characters, Dik Browne, Beetle’s early square form and perpendicular limbs, Walker as Lt. Fuzz, Lt. Jack Flap, African-American characters in comic strips, being confronted by editors by Ebony, Colin Powell’s approval of Flap, code numbers associated with the comic strip, writing a military-based comic strip without reference to Iraq, General Halftrack’s skirt-chasing and later sensitivity training, the circumstances that will cause Walker to change his strip, why Walker hasn’t included women soldiers, aborted cliffhangers, and characters staying the same in the Beetle Bailey universe.
EXCERPT FROM SHOW:
Correspondent: Here we have a military strip. But there’s no reference to Iraq. And I wanted to ask you about this kind of balance.
Walker: I try to avoid anything controversial. Because if you do something pro-Bush, fifty percent of your readers are going to get mad, fifty percent of your readers might like it. But I’m after the whole broad spectrum. So I’m really avoid those things.
Correspondent: But to talk about the broader audience, I mean, Bush’s approval rating isn’t exactly the best in the world. It’s under 30%. So you have 70% of the audience if you were to play around with this kind of thing.
Walker: Yeah. Well, anyway, I try not to get too topical or controversial. That’s why I’ve avoided the war pretty much. I don’t mention Iraq very much. Very seldom.
Correspondent: Even though this war has lasted longer than World War II? I mean, doesn’t it seem…?
Walker: But there’s so many people that are angry about it that I’ve got to be really careful about how I treat it. Mostly, I just ignore it. People say, “Well, when is Beetle going to go to Iraq?” I said, “Jesus Christ. I hope never!” You know, I don’t want to send him there because it’s very difficult to deal with. I’m just keeping him in basic training. It’s the common experience that all soldiers have. If I take him out somewhere and specify into some particular kind of work, I’ll lose a lot of my readers there. They won’t be interested or they won’t understand it. But everybody understands basic training. That’s where I keep him.
Correspondent: I mean, you had this similar situation with Jack Flap. That’s why I present this as well. I mean, that didn’t hurt you. In fact, that got Beetle Bailey more attention, you know?
Walker: Yeah, but it was a common experience. Anyway, that hasn’t hurt me.
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